Somebody, please answer

You said he got divorced last July? Was the ED filed before that or is it being filed for now? If there has not been an Equitable Distribution claim filed prior to the absolute divorce being granted, she can not go back afterwards and put in a claim.
If he was separated this past July then all marital property must be divided if she has filed a claim for ED. He can put into writing what she took when she left and that would go for her claim. I’m not positive but she may be entitled to 1/2 the 401K, but that would be a decision for the courts. Since they weren’t married very long, it’s possible that could have some influence on the courts decision of what is entitled. After all, if there’s not a whole lot put into the marriage, there’s not a whole lot to gain from it. If she is asking for payment on things that never existed then your boyfriend needs to document that those items were not possessions. Document everything, keep records of any phone calls and anything that she is asking for, have her put it in writing so there is some record. If there are items on that list that they never had, ask her to provide a receipt or he should let her attorney know that she already has possession of those items because he does not have them. IF she can provide receipts for these items, there should be a date. If there is not a date, and he does not have the items, he can turn that around on her. Tell her attorney that she needs to pay him 1/2 the amount for items she took from the marital home. He’s entitled to 1/2 the marital assets just as she is.

Unfortunately, she did file an ED claim before the divorce was granted, so it’s definitely legal. He says he can get signed affadavits from two people who came to his house the next day after she left and they can vouch for what was taken. Will this help at all? I told him a while back to make a list of all the things that she took and the value, so I have typed that up for him already. He says she will have to provide receipts for items, but doesn’t he have to have receipts too?? I told him how many people keep receipts these days anyway, so how diligent will the court be in asking for them?

Thank you so much for replying to my post. I so appreciate it!

I was only suggesting the receipts of items that she is asking for money for and he is saying never existed. If she can’t provide a receipt, then if I were him, I wouldn’t pay her. The documentation of items taken when she left can be put towards her equitable distribution but if she took all the items in the house then he is entitled to his share of that value. If she is asking for payment for something that they didn’t own, I would make sure that he check through his bank statements to make sure that there is not a purchase he’s not aware of. If there is, and he does not have that item(s)then I would add that item(s) to her list assuming that it was taken by her when she left. Wouldn’t that make sense? I don’t think the courts will like it very much that she took an item with her and is asking that he pay her for it.
Make sure that any request that she makes for money or property is in writing. Her lawyer will likely request bank statements and his tax returns, and he will be entitled to have the court request the same of her. He really needs to get an attorney to protect what interest he has in the home, if any, (meaning they weren’t renters). As I said since they were not married a full year, it’s possible that she is not entitled to as much as she would if they were married for 20 years, but he really need to get an attorney to look at these issues.

I will tell him all of this. I appreciate your advice. It’s sad to think that for only 8 months of marriage, he’s having to go through all of this, but I guess she’s bitter. I wasn’t with him when they split, so I don’t know everything that happened when she left, but I guess she feels she’s entitled to something.

Thank you!

If he’s worth it, hang in there. Dear, they are ALL bitter and feel they deserve something than what they are entitled to. Be careful that you are not put into the middle of this. If they are not legally divorced, but are separated he is able to date, but not have sex. He can be charged with adultery and that could possibly effect her chances of getting what she wants.
The same situation happened with my husband and his ex. He and I met a month after she left, which was reasonably amicable until she found out about me. She went berserk. On our 3rd date, she chased us to the police station to scream and curse me and has pretty much threatened me with physical harm ever since. She took almost all the furniture when she left to start with but went back to the house the day after she found out we went out and took anything she could get before he got home. He threatened to have her arrested and changed the lost so she threatened to take the children from him and move out of town, wanted him to give her the rest of the stuff she didn’t take to start with and ask him to pay her $5000 I guess as a settlement amount on top of everything. They had a separation agreement drawn up, he ended up with all the marital debt, the house, his vehicle and his business. She ended up with her vehicle paid off, and her business, which was sold 2 months later and he paid all the past due bills on. He went through and sold everything they had aquired, camper, boat, anything with any value, for just enough to pay it off debts so there would be no money to split. When she threatened to take off with the kids, he filed for custody. We had enough of a case against her getting custody that she settled out of court for joint physical and legal custody with equal time. So he paid $10,000 to an attorney and neither ended up with any more than what was orginally in the separation agreement. It still amazes the things people will do to someone they once loved enough to marry. She had a good deal when they split and had to make it miserable for everyone, especially the children because he met someone. She was on her 3rd boyfriend by this time…it just makes no sense. Good luck and keep us posted!

Yes, he is legally divorced. I’ve seen the papers myself. I was married three years, but never asked for a thing, nor did my ex-husband. All we wanted was to just move on and be happy. Too bad my boyfriend’s ex doesn’t feel that way.[:(]

Dear cgirl:

Greetings. Did she file the claim for equitable distribution prior t the divorce? Also, I do believe I answered this post, or one very similar to it previously.

She can get half of everything they acquired during the marriage, and half of everything he owns now if he is not careful and does not preserve his rights correctly in the action. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

I posted this a few days ago, but I’ve had no response. It seems that every message board I’ve posted to, nobody responds. If anybody could please give me some guidance on this, I would really appreciate it. Thank you!

I’m here to try and find out something about equitable distribution, but it’s for my boyfriend. He got divorced this past July. He was only married 8 months and they have no children together. She is suing him for equitable distribution, but she took just about everything when she moved out. She’s even asking for payment on some things that they never even had. She has a lawyer, but he can’t afford one and I don’t really know what he’s going to do. Also, he has a prior child support obligation from his first marriage, so it’s not like he has the money to give her.

I know that when you are married to someone, there is marital property that should be divided, but for 8 months of marriage, just exactly what can she get? She’s asking for 401k too.