Adultery


#1

I need lots of help and advice. I’m in Charlotte NC.
My wife has committed adultery and has now left our home that we rent. she left on july 14th.
I want the divorce and so does she.
I do not want to be with her anymore.
I went to the court house in Mecklenburg county today but they said they only did absolute divorce and for that we had to separated for a year and a day.
My Questions are.
Do we have to be separated for a that time if i,m divorcing her on the grounds of adultery?
If not then what is the procedure for me to do so.
what paperwork do I need to move forward?
Where do I file this paperwork?
how much will it cost?
do I have to prove she committed adultery?
This is a no contest divorce, she has agreed to the divorce and is willing to sign all paperwork.
I/we simply cannot afford a lawyer and must do this by ourselves.
I told her when we met five years ago that if she ever did anything like this that it would be over, she has and it is. there is no going back for me and I want rid of her from my life asap.
We have already agreed on who has what and we both want this to be as smooth as possible. we have no children. Her debts in her name are hers and visa verca. we have no credit card debt and we both work earning roughly the same money. so there will be no alimony issues.

please help


#2

North Carolina is a no-fault divorce state, there is no action for divorce based on adultery anymore. Adultery is relevant in the context of alimony. If you can prove the affair she will be barred from seeking alimony. Adultery does not affect property distribution, and is not a determinative factor in custody.

Since you both earn about the same amount of money, it is highly doubtful she would have a claim for alimony in the first place. Since there is no alimony, and no children, this leaves you with property distribution. You say that you are renters, so there is no home to fight over. I would recommend you draft a separation agreement which will dispose of the property and debts which you do have. Since your wife has already left the home, you are already separated in the eyes of NC. From the date your wife left the home, you have one year and one day before you can file for divorce. Your time is already tolling, and then you can file.

You may want to try our DIY service in the meantime–The DIY service provides a library of forms, such as draft separation agreements.


#3

Thank you you have helped a lot!


#4

You are most welcome! Good luck to you.


#5

I thought North Carolina was a fault state. I know when I went to court for separation of bed and board. If I was at fault on any of the seven factors I could be liable for being at fault. Has things changed since then? She would then possible have a claim for alimony.


#6

the courts do not require proof that you have lived separately for a year and a day. If you both want it to be over asap, then agree to a different separation date. That’s what many, many people do to get around this dumb law.

The law in NC about being separate for a year and a day is completely stupid and outdated. They should be requiring people live together for a year and a day BEFORE getting married. In your situation, that year of waiting just prolongs getting your life back.

Good luck.


#7

North Carolina is a no-fault divorce state. Divorce from bed and board is not a divorce per se, it is a judicially enforced separation, which does require a showing of fault to obtain one.


#8

So how can a person get a claim for alimony if we live in a no-fault state?


#9

You only get alimony in NC if you were a dependent spouse. If you can settle your finances and can lead a similar life divorced as you did when married with only your income, you get no alimony.


#10

Yes, adultery is based on whether or not there is a dependent spouse and a supporting spouse. One spouse must be able to prove to the court that they were the dependent spouse during the marriage and that the other spouse supported them, and continues to have the means to support them. Fault can come into play as a bar to alimony in certain situations, like adultery, but you don’t need to prove fault to get alimony.