Affair found out after signed SA


#1

I am the dependent spouse and my stbx had an affair. She supposedly stopped seeing the guy. I wanted to work things out and forgave her for the affair, but she decided 3 months later that it was over and I moved out. She paid me alimony for the first several months after I moved out, and then gave me a lump sum per our separation agreement, at a total of $18,000. We’ve beens separated now for almost 8 months. I thought the affair was over, but now they are now dating openly and planning to get married after our divorce is finalized. I’m very suspicious that they never did stop like she said and I am devastated. Can I file for more alimony now that I know the real deal or is it too late since I signed the agreement? How can I prove they never did stop the affair?

Also, proving AA against the guy could be hard bc we had so many problems before she met this guy and she’d been in therapy for a while because of our issues (I was supposedly abusive as she claims although it was mostly just me having a bad temper). She says they never slept together but I have phone records proving she was making calls from where he grew up and she admitted she was with him overnight but also with others “partying”. I found a picture of them together on her work laptop and they were kissing. She says this was obtained illegally and that I don’t have any proof that this was a sexual affair except that the phone records go back 4-5 years of multiple conversations per day almost everyday. Is this enough for criminal conversation against the guy? Do I have to have a lot of money to sue him for this? How does it work?


#2

At this point you cannot renegotiate alimony.

In order to have a good case for criminal conversation you need to have evidence that they actually had sex. Often these cases are expensive to pursue, but can be worth it if you have proof, and the paramour has assets worth pursuing.


#3

He isn’t rich or anything like that and I think he’s paying quite a bit in child support as it is. Anyway, does it sound like I would have a decent case against him given that the phone records date back 5 years? And that on 5 occaisions I thought she was traveling on business and her phone records indicate she was not where she said she was and she admitted verbally to me that she was with him overnight? She says other people were also there and they were just partying, that they crashed in the same bed but didn’t do anything. None of that is in writign so it could be my word against hers I suppose. I also have a picture of them together kissing but I may not be able to use that because I got it from her work laptop without her consent. Anyway, would this be worth it to pursue or do I not have enough evidence? What kind of evidence should I try to get?


#4

You need to obtain concrete evidence that they had the inclination and opportunity to engage in sexual activity. Perhaps in addition to the phone records you could obtain hotel receipts, and or legally obtained photographs of the two of them together.


#5

Would pictures matter at this point? We’ve been apart for almost 8 months.


#6

They can be used to corroborate evidence of pre- date of separation behavior.