Affair v emotional infidelity for alimony and/or aa/cc claim


If someone finds the following between their spouse and a 3rd party, does this necessarily mean there was an affair in terms of aa/cc or alimony award?

  • phone records, several times daily for years
  • text and picture messages (not the content but the fact that there were these exchanges)
  • a picture of them kissing
  • evidence via phone records that the spouse was not traveling on business when they said they were, and was instead in the 3rd party’s home town (about 5 times)
  • admission by the spouse that they were in fact traveling together although they say they were traveling with others and those others were in the hotel with them

Could the spouse get away with saying it was just an emotional affair and not a physical one? Would this distinction matter in terms of alimony, aa/cc claims on the 3rd party?


The items you list can be used as evidence that an affair was ongoing, ultimately the finder of fact (judge or jury) will make the decision as to whether an affair occurred based on a preponderance of the evidence (it was more likely that an affair occurred than not).
NC does not recognize emotional affairs.


None of this matters since you have clauses in your signed, notarized separation agreement that settle alimony for you and that state that you have waived your right to prosecute (accuse) a 3rd party for either AA or CC. You cannot prosecute this person without the risk of being slapped with a countersuit prosecuting you for violation of the terms of your separation agreement. It does not matter whether the affair was terminated and then resumed after condonation/forgiveness. When you signed the agreement, you accepted the terms of that clause.

Likewise, since alimony is already settled, it is unlikely that the courts will increase your alimony over what is already stated in the separation agreement since that is what was agreed to by both yourself and your STBX.