Agreement to different visitation schedule from order

My ex husband and I agreed (orally) to forego the visitation schedule in our consent order 6 months ago because it wasn’t working that well and our children’s counselor recommended it so that we could find a schedule that worked best for the children (and therefore everyone). Children were very stressed at staying with him as much as scheduled in order and we’ve been working on helping that relationship. Could a court hold me in contempt when we both agreed to forego that schedule in the order? Every now and then my ex will threaten me with contempt which doesn’t seem right when he agreed to it and most of the time he has wanted less visitation than is in the order. Should I make a motion to modify his visitation based on this change of circumstances? Also, things got better between him and children but now in the past month they are worse because he moved to a new home and now has a roommate the children don’t like, and he didn’t tell the children until after he made the decision to move and didn’t involve them in that decision at all. This has really upset the children. Would this also be considered a change of circumstances that could be the basis for modifying his visitation from the original order? Thank you

Yes, you both could be held in contempt of court for not following the court order regardless of any outside agreements made with the other parent.

A court order for child custody can be modified when there is a substantial change in circumstances affecting the wellbeing of the children. It is possible that the facts you have outlined could be considered a substantial change in circumstances depending on how negatively the children have been affected. You may need your children’s counselor to help prove that a substantial change in circumstances has occurred.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

Wouldn’t the dad moving into a home with someone who is a virtual stranger to the children be considered a change of circumstances? The children are worried and anxious about being around that roommate, and don’t want to visit their dad because now that time will be with the new roommate too. Counselot has recognized this is an issue with the children. Can I ask that the roommate have a criminal background check before my children stay there overnight? Can I ask that the children not be left alone with the roommate?

Yes, it is possible that the fact the father has moved in with a roommate which has negatively affected the wellbeing of the children could be a substantial change in circumstances. It is ultimately up to the judge whether or not a substantial change in circumstances has occurred.

Yes, you can ask that a criminal background check be done on the roommate and that the children not be left unsupervised with the roommate.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.