Alienation of Affection & Criminal Conversation

North Carolina Divorce Law Divorce and Separation Answers
1

I am separated since last November and we finalized a separation agreement in early April. I never wanted the separation and divorce and tried very hard to reconcile, seek therapy, etc. He moved out fully intending to divorce although he did agree to and attend a few therapy sessions. That ended in January at which time he declared he was done, wanted to proceed with divorce. I found out in July that my husband had a relationship after the separation starting at least in April, if not earlier. I know she moved in with him in February although that was supposedly innocent at the time (a friend who recently broke up and needed a place to stay short-term) and the relationship developed later. To my knowledge, there was no relationship prior to separation although I had definitely recognized he was pulling away and detaching from me prior to that. Does AOA or CC apply at all in my case if I believe it was not happening before or have no proof?

I’m confused because on one hand, your website mentions in the article Sex after separation : Under the North Carolina criminal statues, having sex after separation, with someone other than your spouse, constitutes the crime of adultery. (North Carolina General Statutes §14 – 184). This specifically calls out “After Separation”. But in the article Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation, it calls out "Conduct After Date of Separation " and says it could be the basis for an AOA or CC claim if the couple is attempting to reconcile or does not intend the separation to be permanent but that it can not be the sole basis for an AOA or CC claim if the couple did not intend to reconcile. What happens when I wanted to reconcile and was waiting for him to “heal” and “figure things out” but he has always indicated he did not want to reconcile?

2

Not a lawyer

Under the North Carolina criminal statues, having sex after separation, with someone other than your spouse, constitutes the crime of adultery. - District Attorneys can prosecute this if they deem fit because it is law. This law is rarely, if ever, prosecuted and is irrelevant to you. It is not considered part of AOA/CC torts.

it calls out "Conduct After Date of Separation " and says it could be the basis for an AOA or CC claim if the couple is attempting to reconcile or does not intend the separation to be permanent but that it can not be the sole basis for an AOA or CC claim if the couple did not intend to reconcile. - This is what you would pursue yourself with legal representation, not the above. It refers to the AOA/CC torts. The problem is that if one of the two parties have no intention of reconciling (your husband), then the separation is considered complete (November per your post). If your separation was complete and their relationship began after the separation, actions after the separation, as long as the relationship began after the separation date, cannot be pursued. Even if your husband began an affair prior to the separation date, it sounds like you do not have concrete evidence to support this claim. I might be wrong, but this is what I gathered from your post. If you do have sufficient evidence, then the cost to pursue an AOA/CC claim ranges from $30,000 to $50,000. The person he was cheating with, if he was cheating, must have recoverable assets to make this cost worthwhile.

Not good news. Good luck.

3

If the affair was not happening prior to the separation and your husband has always indicated that he did not want to reconcile, you would not have the basis for an alienation of affections claim or a claim for criminal conversation.