It is my understanding from my atty that he could be liable for alimony for 1/2 the number of years you were married. It could be more or less but I think he’d have to pay that plus child support. I think the child support calculator on this website it pretty accurate.

During my brother’s divorce, he was able to prove that his spouse had an affair (actually, she admitted it)and so he got to keep slightly more of his retirement, etc. I believe the affair will make a difference.

There is no “rule” that says he has to keep you in the lifestyle you are accustomed to now. More often than not, both parties have a financial strain due to a divorce. With you being a dependant spouse you should get alimony, unless you have commited adultry or some other serious marital fault. Child support will be determined by who makes what and where they spend their time. Even if you didn’t work during the marriage, you will probably have to go to work now; unless your STBX is is very wealthy and can afford to pay your expeses as well as his. Alimony isn’t something that lasts forever either. As far as a judge seeing whether your STBX is “destitute”, it ia about the numbers. The judge will look at incomes from both parties. If one party doesn’t have an income, the judge will give an ability to earn amount for that person. Basically, if you can work but choose not to, its not going to make him pay more. Be prepared to have to make it on your own; just because you get a judgement doesn’t mean you get the cash right away.

Thanks for the info. It is so hard to believe that we the “faithful” spouses are forced into into these situation because our spouces choose to have affairs and “leave” their families.

My question now is: Has the attorney’s or anyone experienced a judge ordering alimony for more than 1/2 the years married in Wake Cty (we have been married (7 years)?

I don’t have a formal education and don’t know how I will make ends meet by the time I pay before/after care. When I did work before marriage/children I couldn’t support myself on the salary I was making. I will do what is necessary for the best interest of my children even if I have to take 2 jobs and loose time with my kids.
This is so sad.

I can’t answer about alimony because I just wanted out and alimony would have prolonge an already stressed situation. As it is now, I am owed from the divorce decree and 8000.00 in child support. I just wanted to give you some words of encouragement. I work two jobs now and my son is with his father on weekends. I had help from my momma when my bank account was raided from his overdrafts. There were times I cried and wondered what I’d do. But what worked best for me was to not look at the big picture, to go through the rough days one at a time, put my son’s well being first, and to plan. I buy at sales, I use consignment shops and I make do. My son hasn’t had to do without and other than when the heater broke, had lights, food ( maybe not what he wanted, but oh well), and the essentials. I have since remarried. Between our incomes we are able to combine our households and provide all three kids with what they need. I still work two jobs so that I can give my son the extras because his father doesn’t pay child support. My current husband would take up the slack if I let him, but I do not take responsibility lightly. I never finished college and at this point, my take home is just over 21000.00. It was tight when I was on my own, but I made it. No cable, no house phone, and store brand pasta. But this is an extreeme. We weren’t like this long, just until I was able to take care of the immediate debt he put me in when my account was drafted for his funds. I have never depended on child support and it is wonderful when I can get some. I may not have everything I want, but I am making it. You can too.

If you are dependent on your spouse for your maintenance and support, then you should consult with an attorney as soon as possible to see about pursuing post separation support and alimony. You need to secure your rights to support before the divorce is finalized.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


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We are seperated without papers; I am 100% dependant spouse with 3 small children. He is paying “all” bills, and also managing his own expenses. He committed adultry and left the residence.
When we file for the divorce, what are the chances that a judge would see that he is not destitute and award me/kids the alimony/child support to continue the life style that we have now?