BM is refusing all contact

She would have to have him served with a No Contact order for harrassment and have a hearing on it. If he absolutely needs to contact her, it’s best to do it in writing by e-mail. Something that documentation can be kept. He could also try sending communications through his attorney.
She can cut off communication to an extent but since they have children together they will have to see and/or talk eventually about some things. Just because she has primary physical custody does not mean that he has no say in the children’s lives. He has a right to information regardless and a right to request that information from her. Let her try to get the police to come arrest him for e-mailing her a schedule for picking up children…that’s not harrassment.

Here is the problem with that. She won’t provide an email address to him. All he has is her Cell phone # and her address. She says that any phone calls or texts she will have him arrested for, which is fine, he doesn’t want to talk to her.
Our problem is now she says that anything we even send in “snail mail” she will return unopened.
So now we cannot email or even send her paper letters.
So we are left with no means of communication.

Unless there is a protective order in place or other court order that prevents him from contacting her, then he will not be arressted for simply contacting her about the children. He should make sure he is not contacting her so often that it could be considered harrassment. If she refuses to communicate with him about the children you may want to consider a parent coordinator, this is a third party who can act as a facilitator until they learn to communicate appropriately with each other.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

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Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


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My husbands ex wife is the primary custodial parent of their two children. We pay CS every month and get visitation every other weekend with the children. Their divorce was very ugly and they can’t get along at all. Now, last night she left him a voicemail saying that if he calls or texts her she will have him arrested for harrassement and anything that he sends her in the mail will be returned unopened. So how as their father is he supposed to contact the mother of his children without threat of being arrested? Is she allowed to cut off all communication like that?