Can I get custody

Legally, until there is a custody agreement or order by the courts, parents have equal custody of their children and are supposed to have equal access, though I know that doesn’t always happen.
I am not positive, but I believe that since you adopted the oldest child she is considered legally yours. I am not sure how that would work.
As far as her leaving you and moving that far away, you have the right to tell her that she can not take the children with her. My advice to you would be to start documenting everything now. You stated that you are very active in their lives, caring for their daily needs emotionally as well as physically and financially, so you have a good chance at getting custody. Just my opinion, but you sound as though you are more worried about losing the children than your wife leaving you. That’s not a bad thing, just an observation.

If you are ready to separate from your wife, fight for custody and keep the home, I would suggest talking with an attorney about “Divorce from Bed & Board”, since she is making your life finacially unbearable. This way she would have to leave the marital residence. Also have a separation agreement drawn up giving you primary physical custody and joint legal custody of the children,(if you can with the adopted child), child support and go ahead and put equitable distribution in the agreement. If she is moving and currently holds no employment, it may be to your advantage. Talk with her about signing this and I would make it sounds as though you are doing her a favor, since she can not provide or care for the children while trying to get herself settled in a new place. Kind of sneaky, but hey, if it works, you will have custody and the home. You will still have to split everything with her but the big issues are taken care of.
Good Luck and keep us posted!

Dear asmith555:

Greetings. Yes, you have rights to request the court to keep your children here in this state. If I were you, I would put language in the agreement restricting the movement of the minor children. Good luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

My wife and I are still married. Although I believe she may be leaving me in order to move 3000 miles away to be with her cousins. Single young party girls. She sayes she will be taking the kids with her. Our kids one is three the other is 8 and is not biologically mine but I have adopted her. I have been her father since she was one. She works sometimes but usually leaves employment when she gets frustrated or gets bored. I am very active in these kids lives. I do extra-carricular activities with them… I get them up in the morning, do the meals, get ready for bed. I do the housework and about half the laundry. She does take the oldest to the bus and I take the youngest to the baby sitter who is my mother. Funny thing just happened. I just got of the phone as I was writing this with my wife telling me she just quit her job because she was going to be put in an office with no windows and made to answer client emails. Now I’m frustrated. If she leaves do I have a chance for at least joint custody and can I stop her from moving across the country. In the meantime is there any legal way to make her take some responsibility with the financial burdon that has been thrust on me?