Can the child decide


Gladsheisgone - (what a name!)


If you go to the home page of you will see a bar on the left, scroll down to divorce library and you can search by topic. There is a whole section on custody that you may find of interest. Here is what they say about your question:</font id=“blue”>

Copied from
Do children get to decide who they will live with?

Wishes of the child. Our North Carolina cases provide that the wishes of a child of “sufficient age to exercise discretion” are “entitled to considerable weight” in a custody case but the child’s wishes are not controlling. Although other states hold to various ages at which the child’s testimony on this issue becomes relevant, the test in this state is whether the child has sufficient mental capacity and comprehension to offer a reasoned opinion about where he or she wants to live. The testimony of a child who is competent to testify on this issue might be heard in open court. However, it is often preferable for the interview to be conducted in chambers. An interview between the child and the judge in chambers can be arranged through use of a stipulation between the parties. . In North Carolina, a judge is never required to defer to the parental preference of a minor child. In practice, as the child gets older and especially when the child is a mid-teenager, the judge may place more weight on the child’s own desires. Preference will not be the judge’s determining factor. The determining factor will remain the best interests of the child. Visit our article on when children get to decide custody to find more detailed answers to this complicated question.

Best of luck on everything. [:)]
MP</font id=“blue”>


Thanks mpcv, and by the way it is true. I AM VERY GLAD SHE IS GONE !!! I have found much greener pastures and realize now that she is the one who has to live the guilt of lying and cheating in a marriage and she has noone to blame but herself


Gladsheisgone -

You are welcome for the info. I am glad to hear that things have turned out ok for you. It is a hard decision to make and I am having a tough time with it. Hopefully all will work out the way it is supposed to for me too.



My advice is the same as already written (copied from the website). Thanks again mpcv…you really do know how to navigate our website.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


Is there ever a time in North Carolina when the child can be of an age that they can make the decision on which parent they will be living with.