I am trying to understand. You taped your conversation (which is legal and OK because you knew you were taping your own conversation). Now if you committed adultry while still married, and she has proof, then I don’t see how your conversation has any merit in the way you’re wanting it to. Just because she ‘neglected’ you by not paying you as much attention as your kids (and admits it on tape), does not justify or validify your affair- and make it “ok”. It may give a REASON WHY you cheated, but doesn’t exempt you from the consequences. In this case, if she brings it up for alimony purposes, you don’t really have a stand…as I see it.
I stated to my atty that the date of separation was when I started to not sleep in my marital home at night. My wife uses a date which is one week later as she says that even though I didn’t come home at night I did come in the morning to see the kids and in the evening to shower and feed the dog. I never took all my personal belongings until the date she has said. I was hoping that it was not considered marital fault as I did not start the relationship with my girlfriend until I left my home for the bedtime hours.
Am I really screwed? I am in Wake County. Will I get any sympathy from the judge.
When you go to court on the issue of alimony, or any issue for that matter, the court will consider all factors. However, the law is very clear, if you are the supporting spouse (the spouse who makes more money) and you engage in a sexual relationship with another person during the marriage and before the date of separation, you will be required to pay alimony. The law does not dictate how much you will pay or how long you will pay it. If you do not make more money than your Wife you will not pay alimony regardless of the circumstances of your separation. If you make significantly more than her you would have ended up paying alimony anyway, though the amount may be increased if the Judge felt your behavior was egregious. The Judge will continue all factors when making an alimony award, including fault on both sides.
If your sexual relationship with your girlfriend did not begin until you separated, then technically this should not have an impact on the marriage. If your behavior after the separation suggests that you had a relationship before you separated, you run the risk that the court will infer the relationship began before you separated.
Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Voice: 704.307.4600
Main Fax: 704.943.0044
1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
Hi, I think doc’s question is a valid one re: taping, and it hasn’t been answered in full…and I am also curious. Is a taped conversation admissable in an alimony trial? Is it different if it’s a phone conversation? Thanks!
tonbon1111
In North Carolina if both parties are within the state you can tape a conversation that you are a party to without the the permission of the other party. You cannot tape conversations that you are not a part of. These tapes would be admissible in court.
Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Voice: 704.307.4600
Main Fax: 704.943.0044
1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
I have another question. When I left my wife I hid a tape recorder in my pocket as I wanted to have her on tape saying that she neglected me and spent more time on the children than me. SHe did say this. I didn’t tell her I was taping until the conversation was over. Can I use this in court to prove anything - such as the reason I left the marriage and found it to be unbearable.
She is saying that I can not use this. I was hoping to use this in the alimony trial when she brought up marital fault on me (infidelity). I could then prove I had reason to leave.