I am not an attorney. I believe these conversations would not be admissible because you were not a party to the conversations. A person would have the right to expect privacy when they were alone in their vehicle. If you owned the vehicle then it is possible, but I doubt it. If not then the GPS is probably not admissible either. In both cases you could be counter sued for violating their civil rights. If you own the car or have title to the car then the GPS track may be admissible, but what does that prove? Only that they were at the residence of another person. Easy enough to explain that away in court. Baking cookies etc.
Get an attorney hire a PI in that order.
I would have to agree. If you honestly want proof to use in court for alimony purposes, then I suggest you get copies of e-mails, phone bills, and photos. There comes a time when you can’t afford NOT to get an attorney…
That is unfortunate… Phone bills I have, but without the content I have nothing but my spouse calling the person(s) and yes there are more than one. I suppose I could confront them and record the conversation (that’s admissible isn’t it, since I’m a party to the conversation?), they’d likely admit it faced with undeniable (albeit inadmissible) proof.
I don’t know. We’ve been married for close to 5 years since we moved from FL. I never have been the type of person who does these types of things, but when it’s the only way you have to get at the truth; I would rather know than be the only fool who doesn’t. Hell, maybe alimony wouldn’t be such a bad thing just to get out of the situation, but it just doesn’t seem right. I made all the money in our marriage and have supported my spouse in whatever they wanted to pursue (education, etc.), even when they did want to work (then chose not to; going to school instead). As a result, that makes me nothing more than the “supporting spouse” and there seems to be no downside for them. I’m not out to punish my spouse, I just don’t want to finance their lifestyle going forward. I want what’s best for our children (and would always support them no matter where they are).
I don’t wish what I’m going through on anyone. Thanks for all the advice so far.
You could do that.
Here’s another option:
Consult an attorney. Get a separation agreement drawn up with ED, alimony, child custody and support already addressed and then confront your spouse with the proof that you have already, while recording. When it is admitted on record (admissable proof) then you have your spouse sign the agreement. Let them know that you are recording the conversation and that it can be used in court. Since the spouse doesn’t have to know that you can’t use the recording of the two of them, you can use that as leverage so to speak to force your spouse to waive rights to request alimony. I know that it’s a lot to go through but if you are unsure of the proof you would need, it’s an option. Also, let your spouse know that you have other proof of this affair but would rather not be forced to use it. (Enough phone bills and such would give a judge cause to wonder if the spouse is lying about denying an affair to get alimony if it came to court.)
If you want to make it fair, you can have the agreement read that you will cover certain things for a certain time frame and make sure to get it in detail in writing. You can put the child custody and support in also thereby agreeing to a fair amount of time with each parent and amount of support, that issue is covered. Run the calulator on the home site to see what a fair amount would be…
I commend you on not wanting to punish your spouse for these indiscretions and putting you in this position. Most people cannot see past their own hurt and anger. But you are right IMHO in that you need to protect yourself and your children for the future.
How legal / admissible are audio recordings (not phone conversations) and GPS information in NC? I have proof of my spouse’s adulterous relationship because I hid both a GPS and an audio recorder in our vehicle.
The audio recorder captured my spouse’s side of a phone conversation, which went into specific detail about a recent meeting they had where they had sex (the sex was great, we’ll have to do it again soon, etc.), and the GPS confirmed that the car was parked at a residence which I am unfamiliar with. Also, numerous cell phone records of course.
The GPS is time-stamped, but the audio recording is not.
There have been other incidents of cheating in the past, which I have forgiven. I’ve tried to stick it out for our children, but I don’t deserve this and have to end it now, and just do the best I can for our kids.
My only goal is not to pay alimony, or as little as possible, because I feel my spouse has not lived up to their side of the marital vows, so I feel I owe them nothing in the way of support after I decide I’ve had enough.
I guess my question is, is this enough evidence? If it’s not legal, I don’t know how else I can obtain it, my spouse is very careful with covering their tracks. I cannot afford a PI. Of course the previous incidents of adultery are condoned since we stayed together after, but could they not be used to show a pattern of behavior along with this latest (uncondoned) act of adultery?
I’m not sure where to start here, so any help would be great. Thanks.