If you have a good attorney who is willing to use all this information and proof then you may have a good chance of getting custody.
The courts try to do what is in the best interest of the child and sometimes that means changing everything. Have you mentioned to your children that you would like them to live with you? Get a recorder on your telephone for those times when she prevents you from talking with your children. Ask that the teachers at their school continue to discuss the children with you and if there are more complaints ask that they write down what was said and get it to you. Ask their teachers if the children have mentioned things at home that may be the cause of some of their issues at school. Try to get as much information as you can on their current situation and get it to an attorney. With this information you will be able to show the court why it would be in the best interest of the children for you to have custody. What you want to do is place yourself in the best light possible. Don’t try to make her out to be a bad mother, let the proof and her history do that for you.
Have you considered contacting Social Services in her area? Typically they are not my favorite suggestion as they have not helped me out too much in my situation but you have some factors that they may consider.
Unfortunately, what I do know from Socail Services, is that some of the things you mentioned alothough you and I may think is bad for the children, if it does not put them in “direct harm” it is not considered.
Get everything in writting. Proof is what you need from every direction. I agree with comment about getting a recorder put on your phone. This is a good idea and would hold up in a court of law.
Speak with the teachers and get their opinions on what factors are affecting your children. If they truly believe that it is their living enviroment the teachers could do something. They are required to turn your ex in if they believe your children are in danger.
When you did your sep agreement, there should have been a social worker listed for your case. You should start by contacting this individual about the situtaion. Show your concern about the welfare of your children.
You seem to be in a situation where you could provide the better/more stable enviroment for your children. I would speak with a lawyer after you have compiled information/proof on what has been happening.
It is hard being a male and knowing that your child is suffering and the system will not help you. All I can say is never give up and keep fighting for your children. When they get older you don’t want them to ask you why you left them there and did not fight to get them out of that enviroment.
i record every conversation I have with her and have for the past year or so. I also wear a wire when we meet to swap kids… I have lots of good stuff… maybe too much…
shge was just arrested yesterday and i think she has spent a night in jail… i didn’t call down there to see what’s up with the kids, but I do know they would have called me if her mother could not take them… at least, that’s what we, ther police and I, agreed on.
Now, i have to start looking over my shoulder for her to retaliate, which she will…
quote:
[i]Originally posted by avictim[/i] [br]i record every conversation I have with her and have for the past year or so. I also wear a wire when we meet to swap kids.. I have lots of good stuff.... maybe too much...shge was just arrested yesterday and i think she has spent a night in jail… i didn’t call down there to see what’s up with the kids, but I do know they would have called me if her mother could not take them… at least, that’s what we, ther police and I, agreed on.
Now, i have to start looking over my shoulder for her to retaliate, which she will…
sorry about the repost. It sounds compelling based on what you are stating that a judge might feel it is in the best interest of the children but again, we havent heard her side. I would recommend contacting your attorney or an attorney and present the information to him/her. A family attorney which is worth the cost of custody would be your best approach.
well everything I have listed is fact… I tried to keep the emotion out of it.
i go out of my way to not talk bad about her in front of the kids and give her the benefit of the doubt… not sure how her story would differ from mine, unless you mean she lying about everything, which she does…
Based on all that you have listed, you should have a great chance to get your kids. (How old are they). Believe it or not we were in similar circumstances with my stepson, she couldn’t manage money, she received 3 eviction notices in 10 months, yadayadayad… ALOT of work can be done on your part. Go to the courthouse and get copies of all her records, i.e. ask for criminal records run on her (if she has any driving violations, i.e. speeding; also ask to for a copy of all eviction notices. In Craven County these were two separate offices but in the same building.) Get a copy of the kids school records. Try to have all this information before you go to the lawyer’s office. In our case, it was unheard of to get custody of a 17 year old (he still had another year of school to complete.) But we won, so yes, there is hope! Good luck.
kids are 9 and 7, almost 10 and 8. Funny thing is that the ex almost didn’t let me get the assignments for my oldest son in order for me to help him do them over this past weekend. He would not have had them done if I had not helped him. They were assignments not done during the past week… We finished the assignments together, doing the xtra credit and the teacher emailed me to confirm…
D G - How were you able to request copies of her speeding tickets, etc? Are these public record or did you need your lawyer to do it on your behalf?
I ask because my husband’s ex has two police reports where she reported boyfriends for abusing her, and one police report when she tried to commit suicide… all these incidents with her children (my husband’s daughter) in the house, and physically in her arms, as noted on the reports.
Dear avictim:
Greetings. I think that your chances are good - especially since the children are not doing well. It will likely be joint custody with lots of counseling and a parent coordinator, with the kids living mainly with you. That is if there are not additional negative facts on your side that you are leaving out. Thank you and good luck.
Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax
301 McCullough Drive Suite 510
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax
1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
Ok, the facts:
1…i’m the father.
2…i pay more than the guidelines for support, voluntarily and in an incorporated sep agreement.
3…she has primary custody, i get them every other weekend due to distance mainly.
4…she has a 50-b against her, and she has violated it 3 times since it was setup last year.
5…she was arrested recently for the most recent violation.
6…she has filed false charges against me none of which have stuck, in retaliation.
7…both children are doing very poor in school, to the point they will not progress to the next grade.
8…she prevents me communicating with them on their birthdays and major holidays, unless it’s my weekend.
9…she has physically abuse, scratched, one of my sons. And I can prove it.
10.she still cannot manager her finances, she has been evicted etc recently.
11.she owes me money from last year’s tax return that we had agreed to in our agreement.
12.she complains to teachers that she doesn’t like the fact that they update me on both my kids progress/behaviour.
13.my youngest son has been diagnosed with adhd and now oppostional defiance (a new one by me).
14.i have a college degree and earn good money.
15. ex makes minimum wage or slightly higher and does not work full-time, at least i think she doesn’t.
I feel ALOT of the kid’s issues are environment related and they get zero support/guidance from their mother… The mother does my youngest’s homework frequently as does his older brother. Not help! Does it!
me being male, and the NCP, what would you say my chances are in NC to get full custody?