Cheaters are people too!


Wow, I have no help for you, but had to comment on how much your situation sounds like mine. I didn’t cheat while living with my husband, but shortly after we seperated I did, and he constantly holds it over my head. (even though his gf now lives with him)

Good luck!!


Dear jackiejune68:

Greetings. If your husband was seeing this girlfriend during the marriage, then you may still be entitled to alimony. Even if you are not entitled to alimony, you are still entitled to an equal division of the marital residence, retirement accounts, investment accounts, the business value, etc.

An attorney can help you recover what you need to live on from the marital equity in the marital estate.

Finally, if the pets are in your name, call the Sheriff or animal control and see if they will help you gain access to enter the home and get them. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


Here is my situation:
First of all, I married young. My husband is very selfish, ambitious, and intelligent (a deadly combination). He started a business, spent the majority of time in his office, and committed fraudulent acts on several occasions in order to further himself (and admittedly, both of us a few times). He has never been caught for any of these acts (embezzlement, tax evasion, etc.). Amidst the time spent sitting alone on my living room couch, I fell in love with someone else and had an affair. Before I could determine the proper way to leave my marriage, my husband hacked into my email and found proof of the affair, then proceeded to beat the other man senseless with a buddy of his (again, he was never reprimanded). My lover would not press charges against my husband because he feared for my well being.
Four months later, we have separated (without papers) and I am trying to determine my rights. I realize that the adultery excludes me from entitlement to alimony or any additional post separation support. However, he is still living in the house that is in my name, and has stopped paying all bills for the most part (I was dependent on him). The house is for sale, but it is not selling because he won’t maintain the property while he is living there. What can I do about this? Again, the house is in my name, but he has and is supposedly continuing to pay for it.

Also, I was wondering about payment of bills. I incurred $17,000 in credit card debt trying to help him keep his business afloat, and now he is not paying these bills or even half. When I bring the bills up, he throws adultery in my face. He will not pay for legal counsel, and I do not have the means to do so. Does my adultery release him from any financial obligations?

Last question: what about pets? How does that work? He uses them as leverage in this battle, but neglects them as far as daily husbandry. They are all registered in my name.

A couple of confounding factors: I have recently discovered a “girlfriend” has entered the picture. I have also learned that he is abusing drugs (i.e. cocaine) and was wondering how these things would factor in.</font id=“Comic Sans MS”>