Cheating Spouse who gets what


My husband and I have been married for 24 years. Last summer he told me that he was no longer in love with me and moved in with my daughter and her family (he raised her since her father wasn’t around). I knew that he was seeing someone during this time appriox 4 months. In the fall, he got drunk and admitted to myself, my daughter and her husband that he had been having an affair with someone that he use to work with for the last year and a half, she was the woman that he was seeing while we were separated. I took him back because I also had an indiscretion 23 years prior with his best friend that resulted in myself getting pregnant. Now 6 months later I find out that he started talking to her again 1 month after we finally moved back in together and that he is once again having an affair with her. He swears he doesn’t want her that she intimidates him, she has been separated but never divorced for years. We bought a house about 8 years ago but had to remortgage to full value 2 years ago for financial issues. There is little to to equity in the house and payment is around $900 includes taxes and insurance. Our children are adults and do not live at home. I make half of what he makes because I had to have a job and had to take a pay cut when I was laid off 2 years ago. How much can I expect to receive in Alimony and will I be able to get the house but him still have some sort of responsibility for it. He has continually cheated on me for the last 2 years and was caught 1 time and told on himself the other 2 of course declaring its over with her. He is still in the house and there is tension but I can not make it on my own, what if he decides that he wants to separate, thats why I haven’t done anything. I need his full salary to pay the bills. Besides the mortgage, the majority are mine, I have a brand new car, he only has a work vehicle he has one credit card he pays for himself out of the money he gets each week from his paycheck, the rest goes into the joint account for bills so the remainder are mine or household. Is it worth me filing for divorce, will I get enough to live off of and afford the house and everything that goes with it or what if he decides to leave me for her, she also makes almost double what I make. I just don’t know what is the lessor of two evils.


It sounds like you will be entitled to alimony. Check out our Alimony Calculator to see what alimony could look like in your situation. Oftentimes the duration of alimony is half the length of the marriage but there is no rule or law that says this is the required length of time for alimony payments.

It is possible for you to the keep the home assuming you can refinance the mortgage into your individual name. Lenders will consider alimony payments into your total income for qualification purposes.

The equitable distribution process will divide and distribute all of the marital property and debts.

Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

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