I am assuming you have joint custody with her being primary custodial parent with visitation rights for you. If so, then your visitation schedule should be pretty clear on the days you get your kids. If she is violating the order, then she is in breech of contract. It all depends on the wording of your agreement as what you can bring before a judge. Living in a pigpen is irrelevent unless the kids are in physical danger. Plus you can’t have your kids do the talking with their mom. That has to be between you and her. It sounds as if communication isn’t the best.
Bottom line…if she is not in direct violation of the agreement you have, then you can’t take her to court for breech of contract. If you want the agreement changed, you’ll have to request a change through the courts if she won’t agree to one.