Child support

If you have been order by the courts to pay then yes you must continue and you need to go back to court with proof that this is not your child if not then you can stop.

BUT keep in mind that if you do go back to court to prove that she is not your biological daughter so that you can discontinue child support, you could also lose any rights you have as a father. If you are the only father that she has known then my suggestion is that you continue on as is…unless you wish to give up any rights you now have as her father. She is your daughter because you have loved and cared for her for the last nine years, not because she shares your DNA. I wouldn’t think this information change the way you felt about her? If she were a baby this situation may be different.
I cannot begin to know your feelings with this and no one can tell you what you should do because no one else will have to live with the outcome. It’s a terrible thing that your ex has done but it’s not your daughter’s fault. You could choose to tell her later on when she is older so that she will not think that you have purposely kept it a secret, but at 9 years old…the truth would only confuse her. Do you know who the father is? Is there a chance that she could have a relationship with him? Think honestly about what you believe is in the best interest for your daughter and find your answer there.
Good luck to you and keep us posted!

I somewhat agree with stepmother but at the same time why should you be made to pay child support for a child thats not yours. Thats like paying for a house when all you did was stayed on night. If you love the child then you should continue the role as a father but I would ask to discontinue child support and I will also seek whatever damages you can get from the ex if you think she known. This is what happens to the good men that try to do right.

I understand that paying child support for a child that is not yours sounds incredibly silly but think of it this way. Why would the courts allow you to continue any amount of custody or visitation for a child that is not yours? If you try to quit paying child support for a child that is not yours, the court will likely take away parental rights also. You just can’t have it both ways…you either continue to be her father in every way or you prove to the court that she is not yours and risk losing her completely. She was born during your marriage so legally she is your daughter. And you have to keep in mind that this is a child, a person with feelings and emotions and memories, not a personal possesion like a house or car. There are more things going on in this situation than the legal issue…
It’s possible that the mother may be persuaded to work something out for a visitation schedule but she would not be required to…

EDIT: I could be wrong about all this. God help us, but maybe there have been enough cases in this country dealing with this situation that they have made a special exception or statute regarding this. Hopefully, the attorney will respond.

You may have legal options with regards to your legal status in this child’s life, however to answer this it would require a review of the specific facts in your case.

If there is a court order establishing child support, you should continue to pay until it is modified. A court order establishing support actually solidifies your place in this child’s life.

If you have just been paying but there is no order, you should not stop paying withoug meeting with an attorney.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


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This is my sad story. I found out the my daughter of 9 years old is not mine this weekend.
I did a DNA test to determine this. I have been paying child support to my x wife
for about 7 years now. Do I still have to pay child support? I love my what I thought
was my daughter. I would like to set up a trust account for her. I do not think I should have to pay child support to my x. She has lied to her daughter, me and everyone else.

My question is do I still have to pay child support to my X?

Thanks for your help.