Child Support


Hi Signinagl,

I think to be fair to him, you should at least ask for some support before taking him to CS court. If he’s willing to pay an agreed upon amoun each month, then let that be that. Be sure to get it in writing and notarized for the purpose to protect him and yourself. To me at least, it’s the honorable thing to do.

CS is a “rake you over the coals” type of thing with it comes to income and support obligation. There are many factors that it doesn’t take into account. From my perspective they need to revamp the whole system. Don’t get me wrong I think that people should pay to support their children, but it needs a little work.

Let me give you a little background on myself. When my husband and I met he had a 2 and 12 year old (boys) from2 different women and 2 different lifetimes. He was alread paying support for his oldest child and voluntarily paying support for his youngest child since birth (while they were together). Once these women got wind that he was seeing someone, they both ran to CS and manipulated the system to get what they wanted…more support.

The oldest son’s mom drives a 2006 volvo, will only shop at boutiques in Charlotte, but lives next door to the projects. Really and truly. Needless to say his financial accounts were levied for arrears that was accumulated for back support prior to the order being in place. However, they never took into account that he was on a regular payment schedule to pay the arrears and never missed a payment for support or arrears since the order in 2004. Even the Judge said his hands were tied because it was an NC statute. If it were up to him, he would have his account released and give him his money back. My husband’s attorney was even baffled by the whole thing.

The youngest son’s mother is the same age as I am (almost 30) and just refuses to flat out work. Well, she goes to CS to because she can get more $$$ out of him to the tune of $100 more dollars. After going through the whole process and talking with her agent. It was very upsetting to her Agent that she did this but because my husband was faithfully paying and she did this to get more $$$. She said she wished there were a statute that prevented this kind of thing from happening, but they are just there to do what the law says and that’s collect support, PERIOD.

On the brighter side, we actually won primary physical custody of my husband’s youngest child. Now she’s going to have to pay support in the same amount my husband was voluntarily paying to her.

So I say all of this to say, be fair to her dad and give him the opportunity to do the right thing and that’s support his daughter. If he refuses to do so, then take matters up with CS. But even in dealing with CS, you can always work out a deal and deviate from the order if both parties agree to do that. I’ve seen to where the non custodial parent agrees to pay for the child’s school lunch, half of extracuricular activities, and half of the drs/dentist bills. So you can work it any way you want to, but PLEASE, PLEASE don’t just look at the $$$ (not saying that you are), look at the bigger picture.



Thanks. Your reply was interesting. Nevertheless, my ex-husband is a person who only wants to see me suffer. He has had an opportunity to take care of his responsibility and he refuses. Whenever my daughter asks him for something she needs, he never has it. I always made it possible for my daughter to spend time with him by driving her a 120 miles one way on any given weekend that she wanted to spend time with him and he has never offered to meet me half way of put gas in my vehicle. He is a very selfish individual. When I was married to him, he paid child support for 18 years for a child that wanted to be a part of his life and he never made a effort to be a part of his son’s life. My daughter is getting ready to start high school and there are going to be things that she will need. I’m only filing child support papers because times are getting very hard and she needs support from her dad. I don’t even want the $$$ for myself. My fiance takes very good care of me and her. But, I feel like her dad should be doing a lot more than he is. I could go on and on but there’s no need. I think by now you have a better understanding of the type of individual I’m dealing with.


I went through an “absolute” divorce and represented myself in court. My ex-husband didn’t even show up at court. At the time I filed the divorce I didn’t ask for child support for my 14 year old daughter. I was just glad to get away from my ex-husband. That was 2 years ago and now that times are getting hard I’m thinking about going to the NC Child Support Enforcement office and filing for child support. Since the divorce me and my family have been taking care of my daughter with absolutely no help from my ex. I make sure that my daughter spends time with her father. I’ve been driving back and forth to take her to spend at least 2 weekends a month with her dad and her father still won’t provide her any financial support. He doesn’t help with school clothes, basketball camps or anything else that she may need. I even make sure her cell phone bill is paid so my ex can contact her whenever he gets ready. I’ve never asked him for any support because I know I won’t get a dime from him voluntarily. My ex has worked for the City of Raleigh for some years now, so I know he can do better by supporting my daughter. He just choses not to. I’m on a fixed income (SS Disability) and times are getting tough. Now, I need help financially.

Can I file for child support now even though support wasn’t granted during my absolute divorce?


A child is entitled to child support. Both parents are responsible for providing support for a child until the age of l8. You refused child support. You should not have done that. Your child is entitled to whatever amount your child should be receiving. Many factors are involved, but there are guidelines based on incomes and the law is strict concerning child support. You can access the child support worksheets on Rosen Law to determine the basic amount you might be entitled to. I would advise you to do that immediately. If you are entitled to child support for your child, find some legal avenue to collect the amount. Usually, the amount is not nearly enough, but anything is better than nothing. Why in the world would you absolve him from supporting his child? JeeZ!!! You probably cannot get this retroactively, but I don’t know! I don’t know why you have not pursued this!