Children's House


#1

Are your parents to buy a house in another state?

If you are proposing living in another state and the two of you cannot agree the court would make a decision. If you have been the primary caregiver of the minor children the court will permit you to move with them if the court believes it is in their best interests. This can depend on many factors; the age of your children, your ability to maintain a relationship with their father, reasons for moving, opportunities and lifestyle available to the children if you choose to move.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#2

Yes, my parents own a second home outside of NC and have offered it to our children as their house. The children have lived in the house during the past year and have relationships in the community, libraries, local church, etc. Since the children are 2 and 5, we are all concerned about the moving back and forth as they are best served by consistency at this age.

I have offered my STBX transportation expenses if he would travel to the children’s house for his visitation. He has worked almost every weekend since our five-yea-old was born so I think he is worried about how he could dedicate a whole day to them. He usually takes them to his mother’s for babysitting. It appears it would be in the best interest for the children and for my STBX if he could be away from his work and dedicate himself to their needs for a weekend.

I have heard of others who have used the marital home as the children’s house but he is in financial difficulties and has put the marital home up for sale. It appears that he is not offering them stability, but perhaps a judge is more concerned about them staying in NC even if it is in a new neighborhood and home.


#3

If they have lived in the house for the last year it is unlikely the Judge will order you to return them to NC at this point, unless there is a compelling reason. The approach you are referring too is often called “nesting” (where the parents come and go and the kids stay), however this means that your ex may constantly be in your personal space and some people find this hard to tolerate. If your only reason for wanting to do this is to allow the children to stay in the same place, you may want to reconsider. It is a good idea, but may also place more stress on the children if you and your ex are stressed about sharing space.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780

ROSEN.COM

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#4

Do you have any experience with a Mediated Custody Agreement in which the children stay put in the house and the parents move in and out for their visitation? My parents have offered my STBX and me a house for the children to live in. I would live with my parents when he has his weekends and holidays. He would live in the marital home (until he can sell it–he has it for sale now) and would have to travel to the children’s house. I have offered him a car for when he is there and transportation costs. The children would still have to travel to visit my in-laws in NC but we do that now on holidays to visit my family.

He is insisting on the children (preschoolers) staying in NC for stability. They stay in this house in the summer and for four months last year. It appears to be a staple situation for them and in their best interest in the long run. But I know that I may not be seeing his side of this and need someone else’s perspective. Thank you!