Complicated Situation-Custody Concerns


Hello and thank you in advance for your time.

I am active duty military about to PCS from NC. My spouse and child were moving with me up until about two weeks ago. My spouse has moved out of our home. I have retained a lawyer and attempted to deal with this before leaving. However, my spouse has refused to sign any variation of a separation agreement, even those that benefited them specifically, continuing to ask for more. At this point, I have to make decisions for my child and myself.

Prior to this mess, I applied to schools for my child to transfer (kindergarten). While my spouse and I both see our child and there is no set custody arrangement, I have our child almost every night. I do homework, dinner, baths and bedtime. Also, I provide all financial support for my child. My spouse doesn’t work and has gone out of their way to keep it that way, living off of me.

I do not want to leave my child here as I do not believe its in their best interest and I need to know what I can do in such a short time frame. It is my intention to move my child with me as previously planned. I understand filing for custody now would be better but I have two weeks before I move and only one before the movers pack up our house. I have done some research and found that it is not illegal for me to move my child since I am still legally married with no open court cases. My concern however, is how do I make sure that my child stays with me. My spouse is unreasonable and has proven that the main concern for them is getting the money they believe they are entitled to. Im worried they will try and file for emergency custody or an ex parte.

Can I move my child with me (since I’m active duty and have no control over the time frame) and file for custody once we are in our new home? Will moving first hurt my chances of keeping my child? I truly believe and have support that leaving my child here is not in their best interest. I am the structure in their life and know they should be with me. Please help me make sense of this chaos.


You can move with the child, but you need to be prepared for the fact that your spouse can use that as a reason to seek emergency custody, and it sounds like you are already award of this. Temporary emergency custody orders may be entered in order to provide continuing stability in a deteriorating situation, to preserve the status quo, to prevent a child’s removal from the jurisdiction, to return the child to an appropriate custodian, and/or to protect the child from harm, neglect or abuse.