Concerns About Visitation

Dear Sherril:

Greetings. Something can always be done if an order is breached. Your ex needs to be on time. You can file a Motion to Show Cause against your ex and ask the judge to enforce the timing of the court order. The motion to show cause only takes about 10 days to get a hearing. Best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

Thank you for answering.

I have a few more questions:

  1. Does calling me and giving excuses why he can’t be here on time, does this excuse him?
  2. Is he in contempt of court?
  3. Can I do the “motion to show cause” myself, or does my attorney have to do this.

As I stated before in my post, this weekend he called with an excuse, saying he would be one and one-half hours late picking up,(he was) and to let you know, he was fifty (50) minutes LATE getting the child home, he also called me with an excuse.

This lateness has been going on for months.

Thank you so much for your answers.

Dear Sherril:

Greetings. Let’s see if we cannot get you some more answers:

  1. Possibly. It kind of depends on what his excuses are. If he is held over at work, gets a flat, has a car engine break down, or goes to the hospita for illness, that may be reasonable. If he is just hanging with his friends, that may be a different situation.

  2. A judge can rule that he is in contempt. You are suggesting in your motion to show cause that he is in contempt and asking the judge to hold him in contempt.

  3. Yes, you can do a motion to show cause yourself, but remember that you will need to draft one, file it, get a judge to sign it, serve it properly, and prepare for the trial at the end of the ten day time period. Your attorney may withdraw if you do this yourself, as filing a motion in an open case file where the attorney is representing you will automatically put notice and requirements on that attorney. My suggestion is that you go through your attorney if you have one.

My suggestion is that you make sure this stops now before the pattern of lateness, lack of consideration, and rudeness is cemented. Good luck!

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

Thank you so much for your quick answers.

  1. Yes, the tire and work was an excuse. I think he is being told from others how far to go. Do you feel the judge will just excuse this? Also, some of the other times he was late, he had NO excuse.

  2. I think I will just leave this one up to my attorney.

Thanks.

Dear Sherril:

Greetings. Depending on how often and long some behaviors last, the court may excuse it. Here is what I think will honestly happen. The judge will slap him on the hand this time … admonish him to be on time, etc. But, each time you are forced to file a Motion to Show Cause (and you should file the same motion, changing the dates, again and again), the judge will become increasingly tired of his behavior as you are.

Also, if I were you, and he were not there within 30 minutes of when he said he was going to be there, I would tell him not to come. I would probably spend those days at Chuck E. Cheese myself (I love pizza and video games). Good luck!

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

Thank you Janet.

Chucky Cheese sounds good to me.

Is it really O.K. if I refuse him the visit if he is 30 minutes or more late? I was told this would look bad on me when we go back to court for our final hearing.

You know Janet, sometimes I really don’t know what is right or wrong.

Thank you so much for answering my posts. Have a good day.

Dear Sherril:

Greetings. If you refused him visitation, that would be one thing, but if you have plans, and his tardiness is constantly cutting into your time, and you have addressed the same with him in writing at least 3 or 4 times, then I don’t see the harm in a little “teaching” him by leaving after he is 30 minutes late with no phone call, no good excuse, etc. Yes, this could look bad, if he was traveling from over 30 miles away, he called with car problems, and you just left, and this happened repeatedly.

Here you are weighing an option to teach him to give/receive respect and the possible outcome. I honestly hope that a judge would not sanction you for waiting, then leaving, when he is constantly late. Thank you.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

Janet, Thank you so much.

Your answers are well written. This makes a lot of sense. As I have been told, he is just digging himself a bigger ditch. So to speak, he will have to answer to ALL of this when we go back to court. I have also been told, that his interest in his child is so LOW, that he may never get a two day weekend. (He is only allowed one night every other weekend) if he can’t handle this, how does he think he can handle two nights.

Thanks again, please keep this web-site, it is the best.

Hi;

I have a few questions about child visitation.

My ex and I went to a temporary custody hearing several months ago. This court hearing covered, child custody, child support and visitation. My ex. had to first go throught supervised visits and then he gets our child every other week-end for (1) one night. He has to drive about three hours to pick up and to return. This is my concerns, he is late most of the time, sometimes thirty minutes. However, like this weekend, he was one and one-half hour late. He does call.

He is not going by the temporary court orders. I would like to know what you feel can be done. My attorneys’ paralegal tells me to just document the times and this will be brought up at the final hearing. The paralegal is telling me that I can’t do anything about this now. Is this true? I understand in this county it takes about eighteen months for your case to get on the docket for a final hearing.

Thank you.