Confused about Criminal Conversation!


Ok, I’m really confused from what I’ve READ about CC and what I was just told by my attorney.

I thought that you could sue your spouse’s “lover” with cc EVEN if they didn’t start having sex until AFTER we separated. I thought I read where you’re not supposed to have sex UNTIL you’re divorced! But my attorney told me that you’d have to prove that the affair was going on PRIOR to the marriage ending. I thought THAT was for an alienation of affection lawsuit. I understand THAT. But for cc, I thought it was a separate issue.

Could someone please help??


You can make a claim for criminal conversation based on acts that occurred after separation up until October 1 of this year.

Adultery is still a crime in North Carolina, in that it is still on the books as a criminal offense, however this law is entirely separate and apart from the civil law which governs criminal conversation actions, which is a different action from criminal conversation.


Thanks Erin, but if you could elabborate on my specific case I’d appreciate it (as I’m still confused)…

My spouse started dating my niece about 4-6 weeks AFTER he moved out of our home (after filing for separation). I have proof of them having sex (text messages, phone records, pic’s, etc), even when my 8 year old daughter is present (she’s also seen them in the same bed). They’ve had several “overnight” visits while my daughter was there as well.

I know that the new law for cc comes into effect on Oct 1st. Does that mean that I would need to file a cc lawsuit PRIOR to Oct 1st…or as long as I can prove they’ve had sex prior to Oct 1st, can the lawsuit be filed AFTER that deadline? And will any evidence I obtain after Oct 1st do any good to support my case – or will all evidence have to predate Oct 1st?

Oct 1st is just in 4 days, so I need to file ASAP before the deadline.

Also one other thing…the proof I have of them having sex and overnight visits WHILE my daughter is present, will the judge look at that at all in regards to determining who get’s custody of our child? If not, then what types of things do judges consider when determining custody? Would my niece’s foul language around my daughter and her attemps at turning her against her own mother be considered (trash talking me)? And would an 8 yr old be allowed to testify to this (behind judge’s chambers)?

Thanks so much for the wonderful service you’re providing on this forum.


No, in your case the acts happened prior to October 1, when the law cuts off post separation activity from being actionable. You certainly have a claim against your niece and may use actions past October 1 as evidence to corroborate the affair.

Again the affair is not determinative as far as custody goes, but can be used as evidence that the environment your husband provides is not morally sound and therefore not in your child’s best interests to spend long periods of time there.

Judges typically do not like to involve children unless absolutely necessary and will make every attempt to discern what the appropriate course of action is best for the child by listening to all other forms of evidence.