A separation agreement is a final determination of equitable distribution and cannot be changed. If your ex is in breach of the agreement you will need to file a breach of contract claim in order to get the court’s assistance. Contempt is a term that relates to a court order on Equitable Distribution, not a separation agreement.
If you are having trouble getting in touch with your attorney and have been for 3 weeks you should send her a letter stating that you wish to terminate your relationship with her, and that you would like a refund of any unused portion of you retainer.
I do not personally know any attorneys in the mountain region of the state, however you may contact our client liaison and she may be able to refer you to an attorney in your area.
As for the divorce, the pleading stage is closed after thirty days, meaning the time for you to file a response ends. The divorce its self will not be granted until your ex sets the hearing date for the judge to grant the divorce. You may contact the clerks office and ask to schedule the hearing date yourself to avoid any more stalling by your ex.
Is there any way I can represent myself and file for contempt of court and a child custody modifier? I asked the clerk of court staff if I could and they looked at me funny and said that I needed to get a lawyer to do that.
Also, how can I get a restraining order on my ex? She had no problem lying and getting an ex parte order taken out on me. She knows how to play the system. At the ex parte hearing, I was not allowed to bring up any of her harassment against me. I have a three ring binder full of documentation, pictures, and police reports. Things like harassment at the exchange of my kids, to tailgating me, following me to a mall, honking at me and my friend. I even have pictures of blood that was thrown on my storm door the morning after me and my ex had an argument at a high school football game because my ex wouldn’t allow me to see my 6 year old son at the game. She said I needed to go sit someplace else. I only get to see my kids four day a month. That really sucks! My attorney said to keep documenting everything so I have but she has not done anything with it. So what can I do?
You can certainly represent yourself in court, however with matters as important as child custody I strongly recommend that you retain counsel to represent you.
Unless your spouse is physically violent or has threatened you cannot get a Domestic Violence Restraining Order against her. I recommend you continue to document her behavior and use these instances in your motion to modify custody. The events you mention can be used to demonstrate her instability and will be a factor in the court’s custody determination.
I just contacted an new attorney. He said that it would be very hard to modify a child custody agreement once it was signed unless there was a change in circumstance. He said it wasn’t impossible but it would take a lot of work. My previous attorney talked me into signing this agreement. I didn’t want to but she said we would put in a modifier in a month or two and she acted like it was nothing to do this. She said it was the best thing for me to do, and so I believed her and signed it. My new attorney said that in his opinion, it was not a good idea. Is this true about the custody agreement? Is there anything I can do? This makes me physically sick! If I knew this, I would have never signed anything!!!
Yes, if you signed an agreement you will have an uphill battle to change custody moving forward. Your attorney is right it is not impossible, but it will be difficult, as you will have to prove the circumstances which affect the best interests of the child have changed substantially.
I have some questions about attorney fees. I have found three new lawyers who say they will take my case. I asked all three what their retainers and hourly fees are. One said he charges $250.00 an hour but didn’t mention a retainer. One said he needs $3000.00 up front and $600.00 of that he earns right of the bat and charges $200.00 an hour. The third lawyer said she would take my case but needed $5000.00 up front. She said she doesn’t normally ask for this much but since she lives over an hour from my town, she needed to ask for more. She didn’t give an hourly rate. Are these retainers? Do they ask for this amount because this is the amount they think it will cost to handle my case? How many hours of attorney work will I be getting? What about an initial consultation for a fee? Can I ask for one because I would like to know exactly what can and will be done by the attorney before I start shelling out a lot of money?
Normally attorneys will ask for a sum of money upfront and then will bill hourly for the work they complete. Once the retainer has been exhausted you will be billed by the hour for the work done on your file. I cannot say how many hours of work you will receive, it will depend on the amount of work needed on your specific case which you will need to discuss with the attorney you chose.
I recently tried to get a restraining order against my ex-wife. I have a three ring binder full of documentation of “continued harassment.” The request was faxed to a judge but was denied. I am in the process of hiring a new attorney so I decided to dismiss the motion until I can get some help from an attorney. On the motion to dismiss, it asked me if I was dismissing with prejudice or without prejudice. What does this mean? The clerk of court staff did not know what this meant.
If you dismiss a claim WITH prejudice it means you are giving up your rights to peruse this action in the future, usually done in conjunction with a settlement. Dismissing a claim WITHOUT prejudice allows you to reassert the claim and move forward at a later time. This is the option you need to choose.
My lawyer gave me legal advice many times that I found out was totally untrue. So I am trying to find out if this is untrue also. My ex filed a Divorce from Bed and Board after we were separated for 3 months. She falsely accused me of domestic violence. After my attorney demanded strict proof and my ex didn’t have any, my ex dropped the Divorce from Bed and Board. I then asked my lawyer if we could file a Divorce from Bed and Board against my ex for adultery. My lawyer told me that I couldn’t and that I would just have to settle for “a plain absolute divorce.” Was this true?
Are there any consequences for my ex and her attorney making completely false accusations on court documents against me?
My ex got primary physical custody of my three children. My attorney didn’t bring up my ex’s multiple affairs at all. My ex was on Myspace under a false name looking for local men to have sex with. I think this should have influenced child custody because it is supposed to be decided in the children’s best interest. I have multiple witnesses of my ex’s sexapades such as neighbors, pastor, wives, etc. Nothing was brought up at all about my ex’s adultery. My attorney said that this didn’t matter and that the judge was only concerned about the children’s best interest. Is this true? It seems to me that this is in my ex’s best interest!
If I go back to court to try to get more custody of my children, will the judge consider that I was given totally bogus legal advice from my attorney? I would have done a lot better if I didn’t have an attorney giving me wrong advice.
My ex finally filed for absolute divorce on December 22nd, 2008. We have been separated for 20 months now. My attorney would not file for it even though I asked her to a long time ago. And now my ex has never requested a judge to sign it. I went to the Clerk of Court’s office and asked if I could request a judge to sign. The clerk told me that I couldn’t do anything about it because my ex filed it. Is this true?
I’m in the process of terminating my attorney. I have sent her a letter terminating our relationship and requested a refund. She basically took my money and told me that it was in my best interest to agree to everything my ex’s attorney proposed. She almost cost me another $8,000.00 but I said no and it went to court. The judge said that I didn’t have to pay my ex’s attorney’s fees and back child support. Everyone I told my story to has asked me if I think my ex or her attorney paid my attorney off because she did not represent my children’s interest or my interest at all. Is there any way to report my attorney to the NC Bar Association? I asked my attorney to file things and such but she would never do anything for me. I still have several minor issues that still haven’t been worked on or handled in over a year.
Yes, you cannot obtain an divorce in NC based on adultery. The divorce from bed and board is not the same thing as a divorce, it is essentially a judicial decree of separation. If you separated 3 months ago there is no reason to file an action for a divorce from bed and board. Your lawyer is correct.
If the claim was dismissed you have no recourse, as you were not prejudiced legally by her accusations.
Unfortunately your wife’s adultery has no bearing on custody, this happens often as judges do not necessarily consider infidelity to have any bearing on the children’s best interests.
Your attorney’s advice does not seem bogus to me, but in any event, that is not cause to change a custody order. The order is temporary in nature, and you have the right to change attorneys before the hearing on permanent custody.
If your ex filed the complaint she will have to prepare the judgment and set the hearing, unless you have filed an answer and counterclaim. If you have, you may set the matter for hearing yourself.
If you wish to file a grievance against your attorney you may do so by contacting the state bar.
My attorney instructed me to sign a child custody agreement so I would only get my three children 4 days a month. I told her that I didn’t want to sign it because I wanted my kids half time but she assured me that we would file a child custody modifier in a month or two to get more time. She acted like it was nothing. So I took her word and signed the agreement. Now 5 months later, she has not filed anything. And every attorney that I have talked to said they wouldn’t have signed the agreement.
My attorney wanted me to sign an agreement for me to pay my ex’s attorney’s fees ($2,000.00) within 30 days and $6,000.00 in back child support. I said I wasn’t going to sign the agreement. My attorney got huffy with me and said if it goes to a hearing, I will end up paying more. It went to a hearing, my ex asked for $2,000.00 for attorney’s fees and only $3,000.00 in back child support. It ended up that I did not have to pay anything. So by not listening to my lawyer, I saved myself $8,000.00 and probably saved myself from bankruptcy.
My ex was supposed to sign over the house to me and give me half of our three children’s pictures in September 2008 . She had 30 days to do it according to our ED agreement. I have received nothing. I notified my attorney several times and nothing was done.
so now I don’t believe anything my attorney says. Being a defendant in a divorce case, what is my lawyer supposed to do? I thought I was paying my attorney to represent my children’s and my best interest! Is it worth hiring another lawyer and shelling out another $3,000.00, that I will have to borrow, especially if there is nothing they can do except take my money and tell me there is nothing they can do?
My ex abondoned the home. My kids have been taken away from me. I have to pay $908.00 a month for child support which is basically one of my paychecks a month. I had to change jobs. I had to withdraw from graduate school with only four semesters left. I had to start paying back my student loan and I am only bringing home half the my pay now. I have trouble with trust and relationships due to 14 years of emotional abuse from my ex-wife. I have been falsely accused of child abuse and domestic violence with absolutely no proof. So why am I being punished for my ex-wife’s infidelity? I thought the judicial system was supposed to be fair and just. It seems to me it is squarely on side of the female. So am I, the father, not any part of the best interest of my three children except for financial support? What do I need to do? It seems like nobody has any answers except to pay an attorney.
If you are dissatisfied with your attorney and don’t believe in her ability to represent you, you should change attorneys. I suggest you meet with a few first before retaining anyone to ensure you find a good fit.
I contacted several attorneys in my area. I found one that I think is a good fit. He reviewed my case and stated I got screwed. He stated my old attorney really dropped the ball and was borderline incompetent. He said he would research the possibility of filing a Motion to Reconsider for child custody and back child support. He said it would be a long shot but if we got a sympathetic judge, it may work. He said the other thing would be to file for a change of circumstances. The only thing we could think of is if I moved out of the area because they are taking about 50% on my take home pay for child support and back child support. I can’t afford to live here on 50% on my take home pay. The only thing I can think of is moving to Ohio with my parents because there is no way I can afford to live on my own.
Have you ever heard of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)? It is recognized in the UK and the US. The actor, Alec Baldwin, has been outspoken on this issue trying to raise awareness. Have you ever heard of this being used in North Carolina? It is usually used in court in the father’s attempt to gain more time with his children. Thanks!!!
Easter and Springbreak is not mentioned in our child custody order which was signed by a judge in Sept. 2007. The only holidays mentioned are Thanksgiving and Christmas. So I figured that my every-other-weekend visitation would continue as usual. But I just was notified that my 14 year- old son had text a friend and stated that my ex told him that the child custody papers said that I could not see him or my other two other children this weekend which is my usual weekend. What can be done if she doesn’t bring the kids to the sheriff’s dept. this Friday at 6pm for the exchange? I have a signed order from a judge that says she has to bring them to me. What are the repercussions if she doesn’t bring them to me? I found a new attorney but he hasn’t contacted me back yet. I have been trying to find a way to get more time with my children. My ex has done things like this in the past. I have police reports when she hasn’t dropped the kids off to me but my old attorney did nothing about it. I really need some help!
If the order doesn’t specify any special visitation for the holiday visitation should proceed as per the regular schedule. If your spouse doesn’t bring the children at the appointed time the police will assist you provided they are shown a copy of the Order.
Involving the police will likely have a negative impact on your children, so filing a motion to hold her in contempt may be the best course of action, though this will necessarily be done after the fact, and will cause you to miss your scheduled weekend.
My suggestion is that you send an email or leave a voicemail (in a civil, non-threatening tone), that you expect the children to be with you this weekend per your custody/visitation agreement, and if they are not brought to the station at the appointed time, then you will be persuing a contempt charge. Then you need to follow through. If you don’t follow through, then don’t send the message. Not following through shows her that you can and will be a doormat.
Erin is right…involving a police involvement will NOT be good for the children.
My attorney talked me into an very unfair child custody agreement. I only get my children 4 days a month. She said it was in my best interest and that we would file a child custody modifier “in a month or two” and it has been over 7 months and she never filed anything even after I asked her to.
My ex was not bringing my children to me for the exchanges. My attorney said she filed a contempt of court but in fact, she did not.
My attorney called me and said that I didn’t have to pay my ex’s attorney fees. Then I was unable to get a hold of my attorney for over six weeks. Then I found out through the child support agency that I actually have to pay my ex’s attorney fees.
Thus, I terminated my attorney. I paid her $2,500.00. She charged me $500.00 retainer and $100.00 per hour. After she received my letter terminating her, she send me a letter with a bill which had no reference to time worked. She just had things listed like she reviewed my e-mails or a paper from my ex’s attorney. She wrote on the letter “Paid In Full.” I know there is no way she gave me 25 hours worth of work. She said she will not refund any of my payment but suggested mediation before arbitration and litigation.
What does she mean? What should I do? I feel that this is very unprofessional and unethical!