Court Ordered Visitation vs verbal agreement


In this situation you have the option of going back to court to enforce the original court order since that is what the courts will use. Your ex would probably then argue that you and he came to a verbal agreement changing this. If you made a verbal agreement with him then it shows that you can work together and if he files to modify custody, it may show the courts that joint custody would benefit the child and that you and the ex could make it work.

You should consider your reasoning behind this though. You have no control over what your ex tells the daughter, regardless of whether or not you have that child 24/7. The courts are not going to care about the new wife’s actions towards you or whether or not you question the ex’s judgements. If you question his judgements, maybe you shouldn’t have agreed to let him have more time.

The court will look at this as that you have altered the agreement verbally and though it has no legal standing in reality they would likely want to know why you no longer agree to this. The courts will see that a father wants more time with his daughter and that you agreed but only until he remarried. The best situation for any child is to have both parents as involved in their lives as much as possible. You and his new wife do not have to have a relationship, but you should give your daughter a chance to have a relationship to someone who is now related to her.
Just my opinion though…


Unless you executed a modified court order, the only one that is legally binding is the one that the judge originally signed. Your verbal modification of the order is not binding.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

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My ex and I have a court ordered visitation agreement. A couple of months ago I agreed to give him some additional overnights with our daughter who’s 7…this was only a verbal agreement and not legally changed. Since he has remarried I question his judgement, his new wife’s actions towards me, and things he has told our daughter. If I feel that she is not in the best situation emotionally, can I tell my ex we’re going back to the court ordered agreement or do I now need to go to court to get anything changed? He told me I can’t go back to what the court says since we came to an agreement on a new schedule.