Custody & schooling

I am not sure why you’d fight tooth and nail when the wake co school system is so overcrowded and your child ls likely to be reassigned at the drop of a hat. My husband gladly moved to Orange co with me to get out of the school mess in Wake co. Which system is best for the child?

This is tough. You don’t want to appear shrewd, but you also do not want your son attending the schools near him. He could use this in the future to try to modify your custody arrangement. How much of a commute would it be from your home to this school he has in mind? Is your son going into kindergarten? Did he attend a nearby daycare at all? If he did, chances are he will know some of the other children that are starting school. You could say that there are other children that he knows and it is in his best interest, for an easy transition, for him to stay in a school that is nearby you because he will know other children and also, it is closer to you in case of emergency.

Thanks mommieo3!! I agree with you that he has an alterior motive to gain primary custody. He’s always been that way - looking for a way to “take control” out of someone’s hands. Yes, my son will be heading to kindergarten & has been in a wonderful preschool for the last few years. His dad & I have been fortunate that his preschool had an additional campus in Creedmoor (which means he’d go to grade school with either set of kids depending on where he goes). The commuting for preschool was non-existent, but now I think it has spoiled my ex. I pressed him about the concern that he may think by my son going to school where we live that it would reduce his time with our son - and I was certain he knew it wouldn’t. He claims that was not an issue. Heck we’re even willing to work with him on the extra mileage & I’m willing to allow a reduction in child support. But he is being adamant about him having the upper hand in this decision. My husband even thinks he’s being over-confrontational with me. This is all very frustrating & I’ve put my foot down that sometimes these things are going to happen and now it is.

The school your child goes to will generally not have an impact on the custody schedule. Just because the child goes to school from one parent’s address or the other, it will not usually have an impact on custody. Have you tried to sit down and talk with your ex regarding which school is better?

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
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Charlotte, NC 28262
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My ex-husband & I have joint physical custody of our 5 yr old son; I am the custodian & considered primary caregiver, according to the child support case. We have a “temporary” custody order that we agreed on in December 2005 & said we would reapproach to modify (with a notary of course) when our son reached elementary school age. In the last 2 years my ex-husband has been generally easy to deal with (unlike before that)& has even begun to have a structured “half of the time” schedule. He resides in a friend’s house in Granville Cty and my husband & I have our home in Wake Cty. My ex-husband is arguing with me tooth & nail about our son attending school in Granville Cty. What grounds do I have to say “no way”? I’ve already tried “I’m the primary custodian & I live in Wake Cty”. I’m trying to avoid the need for another attorney & judge face-time. Any information would be helpful! Thanks!!