Custody when in different cities

My stbx moved 2 hours away for work. He has never been a primary caregiver or even a decision maker in our child’s life. He has seen her a total of about 3 weeks in 3 years of seperation. He has a long history of substance abuse and is cohabitating with a person he did drugs with. What is the chance of sole custody in this case? We do not get along and co parenting is not a realistic option although I am sure he will present it to a judge as one because he now suddenly wants to make all the decisions.

The father will still be entitled to custody/visitation under the circumstances as you have described. A judge may be inclined to award him less than 50% visitation given the fact that he and the child have not spent time with each other very much in the past few years and because of any substance abuse issues that can be proven at trial. Judges will generally take these issues seriously.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

We are going to have our hearing on temporary custody soon. The child is school aged, so I dont see how we can share custody living 2 hours apart. Also, is his cohabitation an factor to the judge? The child has said they would like to spend time alone with the father, but he has refused and insists that his girlfriend be included and the child should just get over it. So the child is with both of them, or just the girlfriend alone while the father goes to work.

Location of each parent’s residence will be a factor that the judge must consider when determining a custody schedule.

Cohabitation by the father, by itself, will not influence the judge for temporary custody. However, depending on the exact circumstances, the judge could order that visitations with the father be without the girlfriend. The judge will also look at both parent’s work schedules to determine a custody schedule that is in the best interest of the child.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

Is it generally better to use all your arguments to get temporary custody under the assumption that a judge will likely maintain the status quo established in the temporary order when the permanent hearing rolls around, OR, hold back some of your arguments for the later hearing?

In most cases, temporary hearings are limited in time. Judges limit temporary custody hearings to anywhere from 20 minutes to one hour, or more, for each side. Exact time limits depend on local rules and the individual judge. Because of this, you will only have time to bring out your most important points and arguments. Permanent hearings are not typically limited in time so you will likely be able to present all of your evidence in the permanent hearing.

If your temporary hearing is not limited in time, then you should consider presenting all of your evidence so that it is on the record and before the judge.


Anna Ayscue

Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest

Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.