Divorce from Bed and Board

North Carolina Divorce Law Divorce and Separation Answers
1

You are entitled to 1/2 the money and marital assets. Even if the money is in a separate account, that is still a marital asset due to the fact that separation did not begin until after the money was received.
The home is half yours. Since you are married, legally your name should be on the deed even if it’s only the spouse’s name on the mortgage. Unless you signed some sort of form prior to this so that your spouse could use marital funds to purchase separate property, you are entitled to 1/2 the home. You should consult with an attorney to see where you stand.
Yes, you can file for divorce from bed & board due to the alcolhol abuse. Here are the terms: “The complainant seeking a divorce from bed and board must establish at least one of the six fault grounds enumerated in the statute: abandonment, malicious turning out of doors, cruel or barbarous treatment, indignities, excessive use of alcohol or drugs rendering the condition of the other spouse intolerable, or adultery. Further, the complainant must allege that he or she did not provoke the other spouse’s misconduct. The right to jury trial in an action for divorce from bed and board is governed by the statutory provision permitting a jury to make the factual findings on issues of fault.” You would not be able to use the affair since the affair was terminated and you remained married. That is considered condoning or forgiving the affair. If you can show cause, you can file Divorce from Bed & Board and Equitable Distribution together. That being the case, your spouse may be forced to leave the marital home so that you can return living there…Your separation began 6 months ago when she forced you to leave the marital home.

She can NOT keep the children from you for any reason other than a court order stating that you are not allowed visitations. If custody has not been decided in court or in an agreement then you both have equal access to the children at any time. If you have been the primary caregiver for the children, you could very possibly retain primary custody of the children. She can refuse to let you come to her home to visit the children just as you can refuse to allow her into your home. You should be getting your children and continue caring for them as you have always done. It’s understandable that the apartment you have is small to care for two children but until you can resolve the money situation you should do this regardless. This will set a pattern for what final custody could be ordered.
In order to show that you are and have been the primary caregiver, you should really begin keeping them overnight also.
Gather as much information as you can, bank statements and dates and consult with an attorney. At the very least, you should get an agreement drawn up and get on a set schedule with your children.

2

  1. Makes no difference whose name is on deed, title, etc. If property was acquired during the marriage, you are entitled to half.

  2. Since the money came in close to separation, she may be accountable for the money. The date you moved out will be the date of separation. At that time, you had the SS money. (24 hours)

  3. The adultery probably will make no difference. It appears you remained married after you discovered the affair.

  4. It also appears that you are the “dependent spouse” due to the depression. You have also been the primary caregiver for the children. In most cases, this carries some weight. If you have no “fault”, then there is nothing she can use against you.

  5. She cannot keep you from the children. You have as much right as she does at this time.

  6. You can file a divorce from bed and board based on her alcoholism and “maliciously turning out of doors”. Possibly abandonment.

  7. You do need to see an attorney. At times, an attorney is a necessary evil. Looks like this woman is calling the shots. Do not let her. Good luck.

3

You are going to need to initiate a case for child custody, child support, equitable distribution and potentially alimony.

Custody is the first issues the Court will determine, and child support will follow. Your wife is acting in ways that are contrary to the children

4

I have been mairried for 9 years and have 2 childen, 4 and 2 years old. I have been primary caregiver for both for the first three years while filing for social secuity disability due to clinical depression. Favorable judgment was received for the SS last summer. That summer we also purchased a house and only my spouse’s name is on the deed. In december of last year I discovered an she had been having an affair for six months. The affair was terminated. In March of this year I received the back benefits for social security totaling around 32,000 after legal fees. The day the money arrived in our joint checking account my spouse transferred all of it to a private account. She then entered in-patient treatment for alcoholism and infomed me that I would need to find somewhere else to live. WHen she got out she paid the deposit for a small aprtment and I began only caring for our children when she was at work. I have since discovered her alcohol use has continied. I have also discovered that of the 32,000 dollars almost half is unaccounted for. She now refuses to allow me to visit the children at the house. My apartment is too smal to have them here, it is only 15x15 studio. My health insurance is still though her. My disability payment is 750$ a month. SHe receives about 250 from social security for my children.

My questions are:
How can I be sure or what rights do I have to decide how that money is spent on my children.
How can I get help to see my kids?
Can I file for divorce from bed and board on the grounds of her adultery and alcoholism even though she threw me out 6 months ago, and would it even help me at all?

Thank you
I am in North Carolina