Forced Separation

This sounds like the ideal situation for Divorce from Bed & Board.

“What is divorce from bed and board?
Divorce from bed and board is a fault-based action, usually brought by an injured spouse to get the court to order the other spouse out of the residence. If brought in conjunction with other claims (custody, child support, distribution of property), a judicially ordered separation pursuant to the prayer for divorce from bed and board establishes the separation required for those other actions. The complaint for divorce from bed and board must be verified and it must contain the required allegations of residency.”
“Who can file for divorce from bed and board?
Only the injured party may apply for a divorce from bed and board”
“What fault grounds can be used to file for divorce from bed and board?
The complainant seeking a divorce from bed and board must establish at least one of the six fault grounds enumerated in the statute: abandonment, malicious turning out of doors, cruel or barbarous treatment, indignities, excessive use of alcohol or drugs rendering the condition of the other spouse intolerable, or adultery. Further, the complainant must allege that he or she did not provoke the other spouse’s misconduct. The right to jury trial in an action for divorce from bed and board is governed by the statutory provision permitting a jury to make the factual findings on issues of fault.”

My suggestion is to gather all the information “proof” you have, all the stuff you mentioned (messages, dates that she stayed away from home overnight) and take it to your attorney. Also, file for primary custody, equitable distribution, and child support. Document everything. Talk to your neighbors, if you have them…I understand how difficult that is but they will obviously know about her behavior and may even know more than you think. They may be witness to her having her “friend” in your home and be willing to tell the court that.
Most importantly, protect yourself finacially, and take care of those children. There is no easy way to go through a separation/divorce and the children need at least one stable parent in their life.

You can file an action for a Divorce from Bed and Board and ask the court to order a judicial separation. Based on the facts you have mentioned I believe you would succeed. However, these actions are expensive and it will take several months to get a resolution.

You can exercise self help and move out of the home with the minor children. Perhaps if they are no longer there she will stop returning to the house. If she does not you can file a law suit and ask the court to distribute the house to you, you can do this as an interim distribution. When you explain to the court that this home is your separate property it is likely they will order that you be permitted to move back in and your Wife move out. This will probably be quicker than a Divorce from Bed and Board.

If you have reason to believe that she has drugs or drug paraphernalia around your children you should call the police, this is not something they should be forced to be exposed to.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Voice: 704.307.4600
Main Fax: 704.943.0044

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

I am at my wits ends and it seems that no one can help me. I had consultations with several different lawyers and they all tell me that there is nothing I can do, but I refuse to believe that. Here is the situation:

My wife has been cheating for the last year and a half that I know of. We have 2 small children and I am left to care for them alone. She does not cook, clean or spend any time with the children. Now she has gotten so bold as to spend several nights away from home a week. She says that she is spending the night at a girlfriends house. But I have caught her in many lies. I have seen text messages from him saying that he loves her. There is no doubt what is going on here. They tell me that I need proof that she is cheating, I don’t have pictures, but I have messages, entries in her dayplanner when she met him and the fact that she is staying out all night. She has even gone so far as to introduce this guy to our 4yr old son as her boyfriend. I also came home recently to smell of Marijuana in the house and the kids were there! I pay all the bills in the house and purchased this house before we were married. She is endangering my children and I want her to leave the house.

Every lawyer says that I can not make her leave. She won’t leave on her own. I’ve drawn up separation papers, she won’t sign them, what can I do? What legal options do I have? Is there anything that I can do to keep my children and my home and get her out of the home?

Please help.