What do I do?

Is there any way to record a conversation about this? Maybe getting him to talk about the letter and even having it recorded that he is threatening you with it.
If you could consult with an attorney without his knowledge maybe you could get some idea as to where you stand. Yours sounds like a good case for Divorce from Bed & Board.

“What is divorce from bed and board?
Divorce from bed and board is a fault-based action, usually brought by an injured spouse to get the court to order the other spouse out of the residence. If brought in conjunction with other claims (custody, child support, distribution of property), a judicially ordered separation pursuant to the prayer for divorce from bed and board establishes the separation required for those other actions. The complaint for divorce from bed and board must be verified and it must contain the required allegations of residency.”

“What fault grounds can be used to file for divorce from bed and board?
The complainant seeking a divorce from bed and board must establish at least one of the six fault grounds enumerated in the statute: abandonment, malicious turning out of doors, cruel or barbarous treatment, indignities, excessive use of alcohol or drugs rendering the condition of the other spouse intolerable, or adultery. Further, the complainant must allege that he or she did not provoke the other spouse’s misconduct. The right to jury trial in an action for divorce from bed and board is governed by the statutory provision permitting a jury to make the factual findings on issues of fault.”

The allegations of abuse would have to be proven before you would lose your child. If you are being emotionally or physically abused there is another section that you need to look into. I do not know what it takes to prove rape by a spouse but I believe that they can.

The incident between you and your husband is very concerning and one that may entitle you to a domestic violence protective order. I think your first step needs to be an initial consultation with a lawyer so you can get together a plan to protect yourself.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit radio.rosen.com for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

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Durham, NC 27713
Phone: (919) 321-0780


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.

My stbx (hopefully) have talked plenty of times about divorcing and time and time again he cries and begs to stay and he won’t bother me or mess with me, but he doesn’t want to lose joint custody of his kids from a previous marriage and he swears he will.
I have asked nicely for him to leave I’ve been nasty about it, because he continually makes advances at me and one night I woke up to him trying to have sex with me and no matter what I said he still pushed the issue and swore I loved him but just wouldn’t admit it.
He’s tried this 3 times in the last year and a half.

He also has a letter that he keeps at work but it’s a letter to social services telling them that I physically and sexually abuse my daughter and he said if I file anything on him he’ll send it to them!!! My daughter is from a previous marriage and he father died while we were still married. His previous wife swear he threatened her with their kids also and he kicked her out and wouldn’t let her have their children.

What do I do? How can I get him out without losing my own child?