Divorce from Bed & Board/ED


Dear Perplexedex:


  1. No.
  2. Sort of. You can ask the judge to remove him from the home, transfer the home to you, and place it on the market for sale. If he makes/earns less than you…he would not owe you any duty of post separation support or alimony though.
  3. Possibly past money spent, but the funds you listed in your post are not marital waste (although it seems pretty fruitless). Marital waste is spending money for a CLEARLY unmarital purpose. Good luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney with Rosen Divorce
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.


My STB Ex has mental problems such that any attempt to negotiate or mediate would be a useless frustration for all involved (based on my attempt to get him to do a mediated sep agreement).

  1. Can I communicate that to the court and ask the court to just order the relief it sees fit without having to waste all the money on litigation?
  2. He is guilty of several types of marital misconduct which I have documented extensively, but most important is the HORRENDOUS destruction of marital assets (serious drug problem he hid from me until too late + alcoholic + totally reckless and irresponsible with managing money): Can I get the court to order a foreclosure on the house which cannot be sold to force him to move to a place he can easily afford so he can pay me; that is, he will try to say he “can’t afford” to pay postseparation support etc. because he has an expensive drug habit and has gotten himself deeply in debt, and I want to know if there is a way to make it so he can’t just get away with this.
  3. Can he be ordered to pay me half of specific moneys he wasted as part of equitable distribution? For example, he paid $675 to a mediator for the separation agreement in which he would be the one to move out temporarily so I could have time to prepare to make a permanent move (and I lost a lot of time from work to work on the agreement), then refused to sign and instead abused me relentlessly until I was compelled to flee without even packing and no money.