Emotional/Psychological Abuse


#1

I am currently in the process of obtaining a divorce. I actually have an appointment with someone at Rosen Law Firm next week but still have questions. I have spent the last year of my life dealing with nothing but abuse. Earlier last year, a friendly flirtation at work made me feel a little uncomfortable with my marriage. However, I put the cabash on that but told my husband that if people felt like they could get into our marriage (which I was already becoming unhappy in) that we need to work on the marriage. My husband’s reply was that he did not want to work on the marriage because he had enough stress and marriage shouldn’t be hard work. He also told me that he never thought that he could keep me. We continued on the same way as always but as time went on, things got worse. He started doing things like one night he told me something and I replied the next thing I knew he was screaming mind games you are playing mind games. I am not to be trusted. Sex was to be had like a man. I was continuously called controlling, demanding, manipulative, high-maintenance and other names. We did not talk to families anymore because they were narcissistic, controlling and weak. I am sorrt to say that I started buying into all of these things. He made little insults to my being. He would out in the morning, go to work and then work out for a couple of hours after work, while I took care of everything and was working an average of 40-60 hours a week. I start seeing this woman for yoga and she tells me to leave him. Next thing I know he is seeing this woman for yoga. She is crying to him about her problems and he is telling me about it. I tell him that I think he is a con. He tells me that she is the only friend of mine that he likes and he will not be controlled. I start getting emails from her whenever I ask him a question. Now she is his spiritual soulmate after all her mother is a narcissist and his mother is a narcissist. He continues to get meaner and meaner to me.He no longer gets his email or texts. He talks at you instead of with you. He starts lecturing me on my feelings and emotions. He tells me what I think and how to feel. Love is something that you do and not an emotion or feeling everything has to be based on logic and reason. Now he wants silence at night…no talk. I try to explain to him how woman connect through intimacy, foreplay and communication but nope he will not give me any of those things. He tries to convince me that I was sexually molested. Since I wasn’t, he could not convince me of that. Then he tells me that he was sexually molested by his mother. Makes me cry about it over and over. Later on when I ask him about it he tells me it was nothing. I start to get angry that he let me cry that day over nothing. He sounds like someone is talking in his ears saying that I am manipulating him. He is yelling at me constantly and I am starting to get scared. If I asked him a question about that girl, the next day I would hear from her. It got so bad that I started having a hard time talking at work. Then one day I couldn’t keep a thought in my head and I got scared so I started journaling everything that he was doing. On Christmas eve when he tried to convince me that my thinking was distorted, I told him the jig was up. His reply was, “how did you figure it out”? Now he says that he was being sarcastic. There is a ton more but I would have to write a book. I am now seeing an emotional abuse counselor but because of the way the state of NC works, I cannot get him out of the house. I have all the journal entries that are dated based on Gmail or yahoo, or saved to a disk. I have the emails where the girl is talking about not telling my husband anything even though in earlier emails I am telling how sorry I am for her break up and that my husband told me about it. I asked him at one point if he might be gay and the next day when sending him an email a picture like the one one’s on Facebook pops up with some guy making reference to him being a queer. I have the coincidential texts and emails that I would get from the girl right after asking him a question about her. So what can I do about it? They get away with it and I end up in therapy. He could have just taken his half and left but that is not what happened. Can anyone give me any advice?


#2

Legally, unless you can prove that he was engaged in a physical affair with this woman, their relationship will not have any effect on the issues relating to your separation, support issues or property distribution.