My husband of 27 years is pursuing a divorce. Out of the blue two months ago, he sent me a proposed divorce settlement that he had an attorney draft. The terms of this settlement are unacceptable to me. We have been discussing alternative settlements but have not reached an agreement. I do not have an attorney, because I cannot afford one.
He owns a small business and has other bank accounts, investments, retirement accounts, life insurance, and I have no idea what else, since he has been secretive about these things during our marriage. I do not have any information about the finances of these accounts and investments or if there are other investments or accounts. He has always had and continues to have money to pay for his vacations, entertainment, hunting trips, a boat club membership, and who knows what else. I don’t know where he gets this money.
During our marriage, I have inadvertently learned that he has invested in a bar, a beauty salon, a tech company, and a hunting club. I do not know if he used his company’s money to pay for these things, or if he obtained the money from a source that is unknown to me.
We jointly signed for loans on four residences, including a primary home, a beach condo, and two garden homes in which two of our adult children live. Although both of our names are on the loans, the payments have been made through a joint checking account. We agreed before purchasing these properties that his income would be used to make the loan payments, and that I should save my monthly retirement income of $1700. Only his paychecks are deposited into this account, which is also used to pay household bills. During our marriage, I used my much smaller income to purchase groceries for our family of six, to provide family health care insurance, and to pay for other child related expenses and had nothing left to save.
I also recently learned that my husband spent a weekend in Nashville with a single female. He paid for her airfare, picked her up from the airport, took her to dinner and a bar, and then they shared a hotel room. I only discovered this weekend trip due to some Facebook photos that the woman posted. When I confronted my husband about this, he said that this woman is an old friend. He had never mentioned her during our entire marriage. He didn’t tell me or our adult children about this trip. Only after I questioned him about details, did he reluctantly admit to paying for the trip. He said that the purpose of the trip was to sell her our daughter’s old car. He did not discuss with me the possibility of selling the car, nor did he tell me or our adult children about this trip until after I found out about it. He claims that this was a platonic situation, and that his attorney has advised him that his behavior could not be considered infidelity.
I apologize for such a long post, but I don’t know where else to get answers.
My questions are:
- Am I liable for the property loans?
- What financial records of his should I request?
- Is the trip that he took with another woman considered infidelity or adultery?
- What standard of living am I entitled to maintain?
- How is the value of his business calculated?