I am very sorry to hear about your situation.
My ex-wife did the exact same thing to me. But she accused me of threatening to kill her over my son’s school pictures. It was ridiculous. If your wife went to the local DV shelter to file the DV protective order then she will be entitled to free legal cousel. So when you go to the hearing, she will have a lawyer with her. So I would strongly suggest that you hire a lawyer. Even If you need to take out a loan or borrow money from family, it will definitely be worth it in the long run.
When I went to my DV hearing, my ex-wife’s free legal counsel wanted me to agree to a proctective order for a year. You can agree to settle or you can have a hearing. I would strongly suggest that you request a hearing so a least you can present your side to the judge. But remember you are in North Carolina, the judicial system is extremely biased to the female regardless of the truth. You are facing an uphill battle. If you have a hearing it will be a public hearing with people waiting for the cases to be heard in the courtroom. Only her allegations will only be allowed to be presented. You will get a chance to question her and any of her witnesses. You will get a chance to take the stand to give your side but remember, your wife’s free legal cousel will get to grill you. I had a three ring binder full of documentation of harassment from my ex-wife but I was not allowed to present any of it. The judge only wanted to hear about the alleged phone call in which my ex-wife claimed I threatened to kill her. My ex-wife even lied on the papers she filed. I had a witness to testify that my ex-wife lied but she was not allowed to testify. The judge stated if it wasn’t concerning my wife’s allegation (the phone call), he would not hear it. Then the judge stated he did not care that my wife lied on the papers. I was flabbergasted. So now I have a restraining order against me for six more months.
You should take as many witnesses as possible. But you may not be allowed to use them. It is up to the judge. My children were in the courtroom. But they are teenagers.
You will be allowed family and friends in the courtroom for support. I would strongly recommend taking as many family and friends for support as possible.
You need to check you paper to see if your wife is requesting child custody in this hearing. If she is, it is extremely important that you take a lawyer. Selling the house should not be discussed at this hearing. It should be done at an Equitable Distribution mediation or a hearing.
If you can not get a lawyer, write everything down to each allegation that she claimed. It is best that you are very prepared before going into the hearing so you know exactly what you are going to say. You are allowed to read your responses to her claims so you don’t forget anything. In the courtroom, stay calm and level headed.
Hope this helped. Good Luck!!!