Ex doesn't honor written agreement

I am the CP and try to make special allowances with ex outside the court order. I usually email or text the agreed terms and have her respond by text or email.
She has broken the agreement ( once again)regarding a pick up time for me to get the kids 2 days early from summer visit, so they can make school open houses on time. at the last minute, as she is 2 hours away.I would allow her 2 make up days another time.
Do I have any legal recourse per her text/email agreement and violation of same, or is this a case where I just cannot ever trust her word, and shouldn’t deviate again from the court order?

Lastly, court order states we each drop off/pick up at the others house, however last time I allowed her in the house, she acted out and refused to leave when asked. What is best to address the fact that I no longer want to allow her in the house, no problem being in driveway,as I will have the kids ready to go…do I email it to her, or do I seek an order ? I want to eliminate drama and potential for escalation on her part?

If you are having the type of issues you have described, I would stick to the terms of your court order. The judge issued the order with the best interests of the children in mind. If your ex wants more custodial time, she can file a motion to modify custody. With regard to the drop off/pick up location, if your order states that the the exchange should take place at your house, that doesn’t necessarily mean she needs to come in the house. It seems that a driveway exchange would be fine, unless the terms of your court order specifically state that she is to come inside the home to pick up the kids.