Ex trying to convince child to choose


#1

My ex is trying to alienate our child against my new spouse and I. Our child will be 12 in May. He is showering her with gifts and not disciplining her and other various things. He has told her she can go live with him full time and she now has stated she wants to. We currently have 50/50 joint custody. I am not ok with this. I would love to have my child full time, however in the best interest for her, I feel she needs to see both of her parents. He however is trying to convince her to leave out of spite towards me. Have you ever heard of a case where a parent takes an ex to court to have a judge warn the other parent for this type of action? I feel it cannot be healthy for our child and maybe if someone of authority condemns my ex’s actions, this will benefit my child.


#2

Do you currently have a court order or an agreement on custody? If you have a court order, there may be language in the order that your ex is violating by making disparaging comments about you to the child. If so, you could file a motion for contempt.


#3

Thank you for your reply Lindsay. Yes there is a paragraph that covers that, and my ex is definitly not obiding by it. We have an attorney, and he is really pushing us to file a motion for modification of custody. Just as you have, he mentioned the estrangement of children paragraph, along with parental alienation. I am a person who acts from the heart. I keep telling myself my ex will stop trying to alienate my child due to his spite for me. I keep thinking at some point soon he is going to realize he is doing her harm mentally. I feel as though all children need both their mother and father as influences in their life, given they are of good character. He provides for my daughter, however the trying to turn her against me is mentally taking its toll. That’s why I’m asking if you have ever heard of taking a parent before a judge just as a warning. I feel as though my ex needs an eye opening experience from someone of authority. I know attorneys deal with this everyday, and truth may be I need to just file a motion for custody and stop making my decisions based off of wanting to see the good in everyone like my attorney is telling me. I am just looking for a second opinion from you since this is your area of expertise. Thanks again


#4

You can’t really take a parent in front of a judge to have the judge issue a warning. The only way you can involve a judge is if you calendar a hearing (motion for contempt, or other custody hearing). You have to actually be in litigation in order to compel your ex to appear in court.