Extremely frustrated!

My fiancee has been going through an evil divorce and ED for 2 and 1/2 years! Its absolutly crazy! The divorce was final 16 months ago but his ex is destroying his personal life and business during the ED case. She had a TRO served on him in February and took the marital residence and his business/ shop, which he has owned since before the marriage. Since this occurance she has continued the court date twice and the juge hasn’t heard anything yet, meanwhile he is unable to work at his mechanic shop and has lost many jobs because he is forbidden to be anywhere near his shop. She insist this is to perserve marital assets, but how is he going to walk off with a house and building. The tools and machines in the shop he used everyday anyways. Now she has sent his attorney a subpeona list of 6 PAGES of items including all off his business records, credit card reciepts etc., from the date of seperation and some dating back 1o years! This is absurd and has gone too far! His attorney is insisting he bring all the items to his office to hand over to her attorney this week. Some of the items listed are irrelevent to the case.
Question #1 : Can my fiancee ask the judge to review the subpeona and tell the attorneys what he wants?..or does she get whatever documents she wants on the list?
Question #2: how can she take his business from him and still demand post seperation support be paid??? He has been out of business for 4 months !
Question #3: She wants 200,000. for interm distribution, he thinks the judge will force him to pay that and if he doesn’t he will go to jail…is this true??
Is NC courts really this unjust or maybe its just the county… really this has been going on for WAY too long and she has had the upperhand in everything. They had NO children and she works for an attorney in another county…go figure!

I know you probably don’t want to hear this but the ex wife has the right to request the documents you listed it is standard discovery process for an equitable distribution.

Question 2: Post separation support and taking his business are two different things. A judge can award Post separation support if the ex wife was dependant financially on the husband and from what i understand if the husband left the marriage due to an affair. Now, If the husband started/owned the business during the marriage it is part of ED and very well may be partly hers. That’s up to the judge.

Question 3: I don’t know for sure but doesn’t sound right.

Divorce and equitable distribution matters take a long time to resolve in any court…just the way it is.

And just a piece of advise, these matters can get very sticky and very ugly and I am not trying to lash out at you but the best way to handle them is to be there for your boyfriend for support but not let it get you riled up or play into the emotions of the situation, you will just end up driving yourself crazy!

thank you for the kind reply…but this woman has commited purjury multiple times and he can prove it! She has tried to get back with him and when he doesn’t do what she wants, she uses the system…she IS a paralegal and her attorney is her good friend, if not more… She works and makes good money, the courts awarded her post seperation support off her 1 paycheck stub, which was not true to her tax records, which are now being subpeona(ed)-go figure! Its all messed up! I am upset because the court is for the woman and screws the man…no matter what …there is always a loophole for her. And this comes from me a mother of three! I would never do all that woman do just to get back at a man or get money…its all about money and control! Mostly money…its sad! I care about whats fair and I see it that I can work too or not have to live high on the hog, and make him pay for it! It aggrivates me to no end because the law isn’t for the the good people trying to do the right thing.

  1. Your attorney can object to the scope of the subpoena. Generally speaking, subpoenas are not proper to serve on a party to the lawsuit for purposes of discovery.

  2. She can certainly ask for post-separation support. Whether a judge grants post separation support depends on whether the judge can find that he is a supporting spouse and has the ability to pay. His attorney’s job will be to show that he has no ability to pay.

  3. This can occur based on what assets are involved in the entire marital estate. If the judge does indeed order such a distribution and he fails to comply, he may be held in contempt of court. Typically the first remedy the court utilizes is not jail-time.

if there are assets to be sold would they be sold first to avoid jail time and to pay out distributions? That would make sense to me… also how long can post seperation support be ordered to pay…they have been divorced for over a year! She is draging this out to keep getting money every month, meanwhile she has also gotten over $100,000. in marital funds from bak accounts and assets being sold! She claims she is broke and has no means to pay her bills which most she has created since the divorce…

  1. No. The judge would either order sale of a specific asset or transfer of an account in order to come up with the interim distribution. There typically needs to be some asset actually in existence. A judge would not just say “come up with $200,000 out of thin air”.

  2. The term of Post separation support is within the judge’s discretion. However, normally it terminates between 12 and 18 months. Upon termination, a motion can be made to renew or extend the period. It sounds like what needs to happen is that a permanent alimony trial needs to be set.