Stressedmom


#1

The only reason I am so stressed about this is because when we married I had to sell all my possessions and we kept his(feel he knew what he was doing there). We have 2 very successful businesses, but I get pennies of child support compared to true earnings. It is a fight to get what I deserve and my share. I don’t want to just hand things over when all of my money is tied up in a business I can’t get my hands on. Since I don’t work there, hard for me to get anything. My child support is a joke. I can barely make ends meet until we get the financial issure resolved. Have a forensic accountant coming in, but he has known this since Nov. He has hid money our whole marriage and kept me in the dark about finances, money earned,etc. Yet, whenever he wants anything,high dollar or not, he just buys it. I don’t care to get shafted in this settlement. That is why I am skeptical about giving anything else at this point. I can never get anything I need from him. I am 1/2 owner of one business since it was started after marriage AND I put my life savings into getting it started. Don’t get why I can’t get a set of tires when I own half the darn store. He is very controlling therefore I had to be proactive and take control of some issues myself. THanks for your advice though


#2

I did not want to hijack your post and delay the attorney getting to an answer…

There was no guilt trip intended in my response and I apologize if you took it that way. The attorney will respond to your post and the response will be legal and proper. It will not reflect any of the emotions that you are dealing with because you or your stbx ex can not remember when something was purchased.
Apparently there is property that neither of you are willing to give up and that will mean that it will have to go to court. No I do not know that there is a law stating what happens if no one can remember or prove whether or not an item was purchased before or after marriage. I assume that it will be considered marriage property and therefore would be divisible but that would be case specific and decided in court after thousands of dollars spent.
The fact of the matter is that you CAN’T control the other person. You can only control your actions or reactions to the situation. If your ex is threatening to take to court because you won’t give him back a leaf blower that he believes he bought, does it make sense to spend all that money for an attorney and court to decide that this should be divided? If your ex is refusing to give you back a set of pots/pans and you decide to take this to court you are going to be spending a great deal more that they are worth to get it decided for you.
Pick your battles. When it comes to the children, home equity, and retirement accounts DO NOT give in. Protect yourself, your children, and your future, but for your own sake, do not drive yourself into bankruptcy to keep a set of garden gnomes…

I mentioned the children’s involvment because I have been through this. I have watched my husband’s ex argue and force the children to wear clothes that are too small, stained or torn because she signed an agreement about clothing reimbursement and then did not want to follow it. She does not want to work with him so that the children have clothes at both houses that fit. We buy 5 pairs of jeans for each at the beginning of school, she buys 5 pairs total. We have bought 3 pairs of shoes for each child so that at least one pair that they have at their mother’s will fit because she refused to spend money on something that was not in their agreement. Now she’s refusing to give them lunch money because she believes that that is not included in child support and that they should get it from their father…the children are the ones that suffer when the parents argue, whether they are still married or not.

I know I’m probably preaching to the choir and that your ex is like all exs; a lying, cheating, snake who is only out for himself but you should know that my intention with the post was an attempt to help you see the bigger picture. I will keep you in my thoughts and I wish you the best of luck.