Feeling Overwelmed

North Carolina Divorce Law Divorce and Separation Answers
1

Dear Justprettynpink:

Greetings. You fell in the trap of trying to get your agreement done quick and cheap and agreed with him on custody, and now you are paying the attorney fees you did not want to pay before, PLUS SOME probably.

Now, yes it is usually better for each child to have their own room. Get married or move him out. That is the deal on live in boyfriends and girlfriends…as we live in a conservative state.

Finally, the court’s like to maintain the status quo for children. They do not like to have them bounce between homes etc., so your best argument for joint custody or full custody is that they come to your home every day and it would be more stable for them to stay until the next morning. Best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney at Law
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
NCDivorce.com
919-787-6668

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

2

You are right about me wanting it fast and easy. I always seem to learn things the hard way.

More Questions…

On the Custody Calculator is it always based on overnights or would the court take it into account that I have them until 7?

How far away from the court date should the attorney start working on my case? I have been collecting for awhile…

Should I expect this to be over on our court date ? (Are most custody cases finished in a day?) How long after the evidence is all presented do most judges take to make their decision?

Thanks for your time and for this web site!

3

Dear Justprettynpink:

Greetings. In my personal life, I too often learn things the hard way, so do not feel like you are alone. Now, you can make the argument that you each share the children equally and that you need to deviate from the child support guidelines. You must file a Notice to Deviate at least ten (10) days prior to the hearing on child support to be able to make this argument. Then, your argument to the judge would be that you share time because you have them until 7:00 pm each day.

Attorneys should work on your case from day one…start today or tomorrow with one, as they know the ropes. Get a good attorney, but note that they tend to cost a bit more.

Yes, you should expect that the judge will take all evidence at the court date and make a ruling, although some judges like to think things over and get back to the attorneys. Best of luck.

Janet L. Fritts
Attorney at Law
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
NCDivorce.com
919-787-6668

The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

4

Thanks for the reply to my previous post…

Here is a brief back ground of what is happening to me…

Have been Divorced for about 3 years, we have joint custody with him as primary. I agree to this so he would not have to pay me support which would have made him extremely mad. Our agreement is VERY vague. We left it that way so we could adjust the time with the children. He does not know when he will get home from work each night and I worked weekends and nights plus college. There was nothing in the agreement about child support or shared expenses. His definition of primary is being in charge and also telling me when I can have then children.

He is now suing me for child support and his expenses. He makes atleast twice as much as I do. The expenses he is seeking includes Christmas presents, union dues, and trips he has taken with the children.

I have bought presents and have taken them on trips also.

I have them afterschool until about 7 pm each school night and all day during the summer and every other Thurs-Sat night. I am the one who does homework, takes them to the doctors, the dentist, sports practice, and attends school functions.

I struggle financially and my boyfriend lives with me (dating 2 years and living here the last six months). I have lived in my house for almost 4 years.

Their dad makes good money, and they have more “things” at his house. He has just moved into a new house (His 3rd move) and he is remarried.

I am going to seek custody of the children. (recent college grad (education), now I have more time and am more stable to have the children. He is also trying to alienate me from the children.)

With my income I can not buy a house where they can have their own room, a game cube (although I have been told that my house would then be cool) and other things.

My questions are:

Is it always in the best interest of the children to be placed in the home where they have their own room and other things?

How does the court usually view long term relationships living together?

Thanks and sorry it is so long,