I am sorry that you and your husband are having problems. You do write that you “don’t think he want to” try counseling but I would really try and push that first. If that is a no-go and he wants to go through with separation you should contact a lawyer immediately.
More and more courts are trying to give parents equal/shared/joint custody. Realistically, if things do move to divorce, your child is so young that being in 2 households will become normal for her - much easier than trying to make this sort of adjustment as a teen!
Joint custody 50/50 with equal time is the best scenario for the child other than the parents not getting divorced. Children deserve to have both parents equally involved in their lives if it’s possible. If you do not agree to this then it will need to be decided in court. It is not necessarily true that he will not pay child support. Run the child support calculator on the home site. Unless both parents make the exact same amount of money and share custody, one parent always pays child support.
I suggest approching him about counseling also. You won’t know if your marriage can be salvaged if you don’t try. If he really is determined to separate and eventually divorce then IMHO he should be the one to move from the marital home. Regardless of who moves out you are still entitled to 1/2 the marital assets and debts so I suggest as mal did, see an attorney immediately. Have a separation agreement drawn up. Anything and everything can be put into a separation agreement, because it is an agreement between you. Child support, custody and the terms, alimony, equitable distribution. It can be modified numerous times if there are specifics that you or your husband want changed before signing. If you can not agree on any of these points, each issue is separate to the courts, which means a lot of court time and money on both parts. My suggestion, if it comes to separation, work something out between yourselves. It’s a good idea to consult with an attorney to know what your entitled to and responsible for but it’s going to be easier finacially and emotionally to work out an agreement yourselves. Remember that regardless of the outcome, he is your daughter’s father and you two will need to work together to raise her. Even if that means that you raise her together separately…
Child support is based on the incomes of the parties, the time the child spends with either party, and the expenses(health insurance, day care expenses, extraordinary expenses), that each party pays on behalf of the children.
The court will make a determination on custody based on the best interests of your child. You did not say in your post but generally with a child so young they will spend more time with their primary caretaker, but the court will promote, frequent meaningful contact with each parent. I do not think a court would do a week on/week off schedule with a child as young as your child is, a week is generally too long for a child under a year to be away from either parent, especially from their primary caretaker.
I wish you the best of luck.
Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm
4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Voice: 704.307.4600
Main Fax: 704.943.0044
1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.
my husband and i are not getting along and he says he wants 50/50 custody of our little girl (8 months old) so he will not have to pay any child support. Is that true? I really don’t want to seperate and try couseling, but I don’t think he wants to. I do not want to put my little girl living in 2 homes everyother week. Will a judge allow that? Also he says I have to be the one to move…is that true? I think it would be easier for him to move being that he makes more money then I do.