This is my first post and although I don’t want to be here, I need some answers. I have several questions to which I hope someone can provide answers. I apologize that this is long, but I need so much information.
I have been married for 11 1/2 years. This is the first marriage for both of us and we were 33 & 32 respectively when we married. Because we had such different perspectives on money, we agreed from the start to maintain seperate checking and savings accounts and to split the bills equally. Each month, we each write a check for 1/2 of the bills due.
He works for his family business and has no benefits, whereas I have been employeed with the same company for 21 1/2 years and have excellent benefits. When we married, he had a good job, with benefits, but was so lazy, he was fired. His health benefits are deducted from my pay check monthly and in turn, he reimburses me for the insurance by adding the cost of the insurance to his half of the house payment.
Our wages are comparable, but most likely would not be if he worked for someone other than his mother - he only works three days a week and is very lazy. I contribute to my company’s 401K which includes a 1.35 match for every dollar. He contributes $2000 per year to his 401K. My personal contribution to the 401K far exceeds his annual IRA contribution.
He has recently acquired a new credit card to which he has charged $12,000 and a personal loan for $8000. I was totally unaware of these lines of credit until the bills arrived and he attempted to hide them, but found them while putting away his laundry - he left the bills visible in his sock drawer…
My first question is: Would the fact that we have managed our finances much like roommates make any difference in a property settlement in regards to savings and debt?
Second Question: Would 401K contributions made prior to marriage and subsequent earnings on these contribtions be considered marital property?
Third Question: My company provided a cash balance plan that was terminated prior to marriage. The company continued to maintain the account which accrued interest. On August 1, the proceeds in this plan, which are quite significate, will be rolled into my 401K. Is he entitled to any of these funds?
I have Multiple Sclerosis and the non-insurance cost of a 90 day supply of my medication exceeds $7,000. With insurance, the cost is greater than $3,000, but fortunately, my insurance has a $300 cap on injectable medications. So I’m paying $300 for a 90 supply of this drug, but I have other drug costs as well. However, if my insurance changes, as it has over the years, (I previously paid $25 for a 90 day supply), the expense could be much more.
Additionally, I have the expense of quarterly labs to ensure the MS drug is not causing damage to my system - these doctor visits are only reimbursable as out of network as there are no neurologists in my area that participate with my insurance provider. I also have the expense of periodic MRI’s (which aren’t cheap, even with insurance) to monitor the status of my disease. Each MRI includes different areas of the central nervous system, which are billed as separate MRI’s.
Fourth Question: Would my MS be a consideration in the distribtion of assets, most specifically my savings and 401K? I am ineligible for long term care insurance and my retirement and savings are all I have to ensure that I can attend to my health needs.
One additional comment, after my diagnosis of MS, I decided to discontinue use of the birth control pill due to the number of medications I was taking. My husband decided at that time that we would forego relations since he didn’t want to use protection himself and it has now been 5+ years since…
I apologize for the length of this post and for the numerous questions. I’m confused,angry, an d hurt, but enough is enough.
Thank you in advance for your help