My husband moved into the guest room a year ago today, he told me that a lawyer he had worked with previously told him that would be enough to count as being separated. Right now we can’t afford to pay the mortgage on our house and rent an apartment for him, he also doesn’t have income right now.
I am not sure he wants to move on with a divorce right now (mostly for financial reasons) but I do. Our house needs some repair before we can sell it. What can I do to move forward and get closer to being able to divorce?
There is a history of domestic violence as well as emotional abuse towards me but also the children. Child services is currently involved (second time). He is also a recovering alcoholic.
Really don’t know where to start
You must have separate residences in order to be considered living separate and apart in order to obtain an absolute divorce. To be separated, you must show to outsiders that you are no longer performing the duties of husband and wife (both participating in chores around the house, both contributing income to the maintenance of the house, etc.). This cannot be accomplished living in the same house but sleeping in different rooms.
If physically separating is not quite an option, you and your husband can negotiate the terms of a separation (distribution of the marital property and debt, alimony, custody, child support, etc.) and execute a separation agreement, at which time one of you will move out or the house will be sold. The advantage to this is that once a physical separation does occur, the financial details have already been settled and each of you will know exactly who must pay what, who is responsible for what, etc.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
How would you handle a situation like this if one of the partners doesn’t want to separate and doesn’t want to sell the house. However, we can’t afford to keep the house and pay for another place at the same time? Can the other person be forced to go along with the sale of the house if he can’t buy out the other person?
If I’m the one that wants to separate would be the one that has to leave the house? The kids would stay with me, does that give me more rights to stay in the house till its sold?
You can file an action in court for divorce from bed and board which if granted, would require a separation and would force your husband to move out of the house. At that time you would be able to handle the division of the marital property, including selling the house.
He does not have to be the one to move out because you are the spouse that wants the separation. Likewise, you are not required to be the spouse that moves out just because you want the separation. Unless done through a divorce from bed and board action, a separation must be mutual.
You won’t automatically get to stay in the house just because the children would remain with you, but you would be able to use this as an argument as to why you should retain possession of the house until it is distributed in an equitable distribution court order or in a separation agreement.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
What factors determine if a divorce from bed and board will be granted?
For a divorce from bed and board to be granted, you must prove eligible fault grounds. This means you must prove that your spouse committed an act(s) of marital fault against you such as: abandonment, treating you in a cruel or barbarous way so that it endangers your life, excessive alcohol or drug use, adultery, etc.
For more detailed information on divorce from bed and board, check out our article, What is Divorce from Bed and Board?
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.
I read through the article about What is Divorce from Bed and Board. In my case it was mostly emotional and verbal abuse towards me and the children. What kind of evidence would you need to prove that in court? Two of the three kids are seeing counsellors to help them deal with the issues caused by the emotional and verbal abuse. We also have child protection services involved who have reports on the latest incident regarding verbal abuse. Would that be enough?
For divorce from bed and board purposes, you will need evidence of verbal and emotional abuse and its toll and effect on you rather than the children. The evidence that you cite would be helpful in a custody case, but not a divorce from bed and board case. This is because divorce from bed and board is a marital claim and is irrelevant to minor children.
The type of evidence you would need would be videos, recordings, testimony of a mental health provider and/or medical provider, etc.
Anna Ayscue
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm Cary • Chapel Hill • Durham • Raleigh • Wake Forest
Rosen Online | Unlimited confidential access to a North Carolina attorney for $199/mo - click here
The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.