Girlfriend in school during my custodial time


I have two children who are 6 and 7. My ex-husband’s girlfriend volunteers in their school classrooms weekly, and I would like to put an end to it. The Wake County School system’s position is that ANY person may volunteer in a classroom. I need to know what needs to be done to put a stop to this before the next school year begins on July 7th.

If she was a “good” person, this would be no problem for me, but she is using the school system to stake out her territory with my children. She volunteers during my custodial time, and she uses the opportunity to paint me in a negative light with the other moms. If someones asks, “Are you Jake’s mom?” She replies with, “Hi, I’m Stacey.” So while she doesn’t expressly say that she is my child’s mother, she gives that impression. My ex-husband has her name on everything as the primary contact.

They are not married, but do live together. My ex and I have joint custody 70/40, and a consent order in place, which prohibits desparaging remarks by him or anyone with whom he associates, and she makes comments about me regularly to my children. She has asked them to call her “mommy” and me “birth mother”, and regularly tells them negative things about me.

What can I do??? It seems trivial but is heartbreaking for me that my children are exposed to this. I can’t control what goes on in my ex’s home, but I feel that I SHOULD be able to keep her out of their school.

I welcome comments from everyone who can point me in a good direction. I don’t have thousands to fight this battle.

Thank you.


Unfortunately the law does not provide you a remedy with respect to this woman spending time volunteering at the school. As for the “birthmother comments” if your ex is making these comments as well you could make a motion to have him held in contempt of court for encouraging this inappropriate behavior.