ok, hold up…you first say “I feel this would be beneficial” (to call her as a witness. But then later you say “At this point, I’m not sure she has anything to offer.”…which is it?
I also don’t understand why is it important that she has 2 children that are the age of your children.
Unless your ex is living w/ her and she has some sort of criminal record, is doing drugs or is witness to him doing something illegal or hurting the children I don’t see how she has anything to do with a custody hearing between you and your ex.

You would have to pay for her to be subpoenaed, but I’m not sure how that would work in another state.

I was called for my husband’s custody hearing by his ex…but he and I had been seeing each other in a serious relationship and I was around the children almost daily by this point. We know that she did it because her boyfriend was subpoenaed and she thought that if I were there they could find out things that she was dying to know about me…and because her boyfriend had been in prison he was not “available” to be served.

Support has nothing to do with anyone other than you and the ex and you could not have her called as a witness for this unless she is also your ex’s employer or financial representative.

You can have any person who is involved with the children’s lives called as a witness. As mal said though, what would you term as “beneficial” to your case? I would think it would be more beneficial to call someone who has witnessed you with your children. A neighbor, family member, teacher, or friend.
I know that personally, I would not have helped his ex’s case to gain custody because of things I had witnessed. I had not witnessed her care of the children. The few times that I had seen her and the children were there, were scenes involving her screaming, threatening and cursing me. I would not have made a very good witness for her side of things. As to what I “had to offer”…I could have testified that I had witnessed my husband (boyfriend at the time) helping with schoolwork, setting boundaries/rules, entertaining with age appropriate movies and games, taking them to do things they enjoyed, talking with them, buying clothes and needed school items, teaching them responsibility with money and even punishments. I never had to actually testify since she decided to settle, but I don’t think I would have helped her cause.
I think it would be in your best interest to get witnesses who are on your side in this.

Actually, this is the author replying to answer a few of the questions…I don’t yet know if it would be beneficial but if I found that it would be, what would I need to do?

I am more interested in her witnessing what my ex is like around her young children and with she herself. I suspect he is bipolar and would like to move that the court order this to be evaluated.

He has also been accused (but not convicted of abusing myself and my daughter and has been a heavy used of alcohol and drugs.


You cannot subpoena her if she lives outside the state, however your ex may choose to all this woman if they are involved and if not you can question him as to why he has chosen not to call her. If you can personally serve her with a subpoena in the state, you can require her to appear in court. You may want to try and find out when she will next be in the state and have her served by a sheriff or process server.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

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Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


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I understand that my ex is involved with someone who, ironically, has two children the same exact age as our two? What steps can I take to call her as I witness if I feel that this would be beneficial. This is for a custody and support matter. She does live in another state? At this point, I’m not sure she has anything to offer but should that change, can and how do I call her? Thank you.