Giving up custody


#1

You cannot “give up” your parental rights, they must be taken from you. Meaning that you have to meet one of the statutory requirements for having your rights terminated, (abuse, non-support, failure to exercise visitation), your ex could file a motion to terminate your rights, but if statutory grounds do not exist, he will not be successful.

It sounds like the best thing for you to do is to find a source of emotional support that will help you through this process. It is most important to remember that you cannot control what he does, you will never be able to do that, but you can control how you react to it. Your ex will stop having control over you the day you decide that he no longer has that power. I wish you the best of luck.

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
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The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service only, a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action. The information posted on this forum is available for public viewing and is not intended to create an attorney client relationship with any individual. These answers are provided for informational purposes only, a person should consult with their own individual legal counsel before taking any action that could affect their legal rights or obligations.


#2

I am so sorry to hear that you have come to this decision. I have been reading your posts for a while and wondered if you would do this. [:(]
Helena, she and her ex share joint custody and he pays her alimony and child support. They are expected to share expenses, but her ex makes considerably more and has her paying all these wild amounts for things that he has their child doing. Even things scheduled during her time with their child. He takes her back to court all the time and it seems as though the judge is one sided on this, because from what she has posted, he doesn’t evn follow his own court order in his decisions when she is taken back to court. I believe what she is asking is how does she give her ex primary custody…? She does not want to give up her parental rights, but wants to give her ex primary custody with her having visitations. I think that’s right…

It’s a terrible situation and I am very sorry. I wish that someone could post something that would help or was in a postion to get involved for you. You will be in my thoughts.

EDIT: Make sure that if you do actually go through with this that your child understands your reasons. You don’t have to make his father out to be the vindictive person that he is, but make sure that your child knows you love him and that this is the only choice you have left.
Also, if you do this, I would consult an attorney. I am not sure if you would have to file for a change in child support also, but I would hate to see you not only give up joint custody but also have to continue paying all the money you are paying now. I believe that splitting the cost of expenses would be considered part of the custody thing instead of child support but I’m not sure…


#3

My financial situation is so bad and I am at wits end. I cannot afford to pay any more for this divorce as it has cost me almost everything I have. I need to know from an attorney what I have to do in order to reliquish custody of my child to my ex. It is obvious that I cannot support my child in the manner that my ex can as I can hardly pay my bills now. I do not want to give up custody through his attorney, but would rather make this judge sign the order for this to happen. Do I simply have to file a motion for modification of custody? This is so bad and I feel forced to do this. It is a sad situation when a mother knows no other recourse, but when the father’s income is over 300,000 more per year and the mother can hardly make ends meet, it just seems this is the only answer. I can’t do this anymore. Also, what will I do when the child support is taken and I have to pay him? It’s awful to feel stripped of everything. Please advise. Thanks.