(1) It sounds like you have evidence to help show your wife is furthering an affair. To have an effect on alimony, you would need to show that she committed an act of illicit sexual behavior during the marriage. However, if you committed an act of illicit sexual behavior during the marriage and your wife could prove this, then each of your positions may be equal - neither would be better than the other if you both committed an act of illicit sexual behavior.
(2) As for custody, she likely does not have a strong argument to get custody of your child for the mere fact that you had an affair first. Unless you demonstrated an inability to care for your child and be a parent to your child during your affair or as a result of your affair, she will have a difficult time being awarded primary custody based on your affair alone.
(3) If you are concerned about her whereabouts, you can hire a private investigator to legally follow and surveil her.
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