North Carolina is a no-fault state when it comes to divorce, so there’s limited effect a supposed affair will have. First, unless she’s the supporting spouse and you are the dependent spouse, it really isn’t supposed to affect alimony. If you are the dependent spouse, then you having an affair could be a bar to you receiving any alimony.

Child custody isn’t supposed to be affected at all by an affair, although if there were proof as to you dating someone potentially dangerous to the child, then it could be an issue.

Despite all this, there are two other issues. First, she’d have to be able to provide good evidence as to any affair. Second, if she “knew” about the “affair” and still continued to live in the same house and have sex with you and the affair didn’t continue beyond that point, then she would’ve been considered to have forgiven the affair and any such affair would be moot.

This is just the quick and dirty explanation.

Don’t you have to live here 6 months in order establish residence here?

athos is right. If she did know of an affair and continued the “marital relationship” that is the same as condoning the affair.

Yes, you have to live in NC 6 months to establish residency.

An affair is not an issue when you are trying to get an absolute divorce, however it will be an issue if you are dealing with the issue of alimony. If there was no affair, there is nothing to worry about, but evidence would be admissible if she had only recently discovered the relationship.

P.S. Please feel free to bring up this or any other topic on our live call-in show every Wednesday at 11:00 a.m. EST. Visit for details

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.787.6361 main fax

Charlotte Office
301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
Main Phone: (704)307.4600
Main Fax: (704) 9343.0044

Durham & Chapel Hill Office
1829 East Franklin Street
Building 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
(919) 321.0780


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We have recently moved to NC from Florida two weeks ago. It appears my wife was waiting until we moved to NC to file for divorce because of the stricter laws. She claims there was an extramarital affair (there was not) but even if there was it would have taken place years ago and in another country. We have a 13 year old son. Is there any way she can introduce this alleged affair into NC divorce proceedings?