Help so desperately needed


first 14 months of my daughters life, i was her primary caretaker. (father and i never married, never lived together, split up when she was 10 months old) she was used to my home and routines. she was taking between 0-1 nap a day, no matter what i tried since 6 months of age, i couldnt get her to bed at nights before 10 or 11. she would only wake once during the night for juice, then right back to sleep.

to this day, 99% of the time she is so wide open and not interested in taking a nap. i do have quiet time for her, but she will not sleep. she awakes around 9 am every morning, sometimes earlier, even with earlier times, she wont nap…and yet i still cannot get her in bed before 12 midnight, even though i start at 8 p.m. with lights out watching mickey mouse, just as her father states that he does.

beginning at 15 months of age, schedule change…ex started getting child temporarily every other weekend, thurs to sun til court order would be in place when she was 22 months old. court order is 2-2-5-5. since the court order took place, beginning 1 month later, she started developing issues at night. 12 or 1 am before she would go to sleep, night terrors, waking up several times a night crying wanting mommy. father “claims” since temp schedule, that he has her on a set routine…“claims” isnt true via inconsistent texts and emails. last august, rocked her in a chair til she fell asleep. was “always” asleep by 8 or 9. email in january states set routine he MAKES her take a nap from 2-4. bath at 8 asleep by 9:30 or 10. sleeps all night. text from last week, bath at 7, watches 2 mickey mouses (approx 45 minutes each) asleep by 9:30. ive repeatedly asked him to not let her nap past 2 because of the problems getting her in bed at night. in some emails and texts he states she was napping from 1:30 to 3:30…or didnt have a nap. (and yet set schedule??)…fussed at me this past week that she NEEDS her naps and to MAKE her take a nap and at bedtime allow her to only watch one mickey mouse and thats it???

i have a friend that is in CPS, and she watched my videos of night terrors and an episode last monday night of her seeming traumatized after spending the last 5 days with her father. when she came home at 6 p.m. she was completely fine…just out of the blue at 11 p.m. she went hysterical. she said the child is clearly exhausting herself refusing to go to bed and her ideas are that she is being forced to sleep at his house so she does all she can to avoid the bed when she is here. so our guess is that him FORCING her to take naps (guessing she screams herself til she wears herself out??) is traumatizing her. we do not see eye to eye on this and this is causing our daughter mental problems…night terrors, horrible nights…such as…last night, finally fell asleep at 12 midnight…she usually ONLY sleeps well 3-4 hours on average…on any given night…but each night is different, she may only wake once, twice, or every little bit…crying out in her sleep, waking up wanting mommy, etc. last night…midnight, asleep, woke up crying at 3 am, and from then on woke up crying out every 15-30 minutes for the rest of the night…these sleep issues were NOT present BEFORE court order. what do i need to do to get things under control again? my daughter is very happy through the day, a normal child. but nights are horrible! we have 50/50 custody, which is clearly detrimental to her, but, idk what i need to do or how i need to prove this to the courts to get this situation reversed. please help!!


You could file a motion to modify the custody order. You will likely need a child psychologist.