I have been dating a divorced man for 2 years - he has a 10 year old girl. We recently moved into gether and are planning marriage- During the 1st year I did not have any contact with his daughter- we both wanted to make sure this was a serious relationship before introducing her to me so I did not get to see his parenting style. How that we have been together for a year I am not sure I can handle his lack of parenting. Other than this- he is an amazing person. Here is my issue: Example- again remember she is 10, we get her every other weekend- on the weekends that she is with us she has NO bedtime. This Friday she stayed up until 12:30 and then had to be at dance at 10:00am- I told him that she needs her sleep and needs to go to bed at a reasonable hour but he said he is not going to give her a bed time- Saturday night we had out of town guest that stayed in her room so she slept on the sofa- we all watched a movie that ended at 12:00 so I thought after the movie she would lay down and go to sleep but NO he turned on the TV for her and she stayed up until around 1:30 am- the TV stayed on all night- drove me crazy. In the past I have just been quite about it holding in my frustration because he does not want to upset her (he thinks telling her she has a bed time would make her mad or he would be the bad guy) weird to me but he is a dad that feels guilty about not being there for his daughter- I can’t make him understand that what he is doing is not in her best interest. I have been thinking about leaving on at least 1 of the weekends per month and going to visit friends because I can’t take the NO displine rule or lack of rules when it comes to bedtime- MY blessing is that she is a great kid- NO problems at all BUT I need a schedule- does any one have any advice?
Also 90% of the time, she has friends spent the night with us- makes me crazy- she doesn’t even ask, just tells her dad that XYZ is spending the night- which is more cooking and cleaning for me- I have thought that if it continues I would tell him he needs to prepare the meals, clean up, etc… I just don’t know what to do- again he is an amazing man- just a weak man when it comes to his daughter.