I am not a lawyer but here are some questions for you to clarify your issue:
what are the terms of your separation agreement? - who has primary custody or are you sharing custody? Did the terms include that your husband was to pay for medical insurance? Is she really taking him to court or has she just filed a claim to increase child support payments?
You can run the child support calculator on this website and see what your husband’s expected payments monthly should be. It is income driven and has nothing to do with whatever gifts or expenses he has paid in the past.
In NC this is pretty cut and dried when you work with the child support officer. I wouldn’t go to court over an additioal $25/week as it will cost you thousands in legal and court fees.
When his child moved in with you your husband probably should have gone to child support over this but it’s too late for that now.
If he does pay medical insurance for his child that amount will be deducted from what he owes in child support.
If you do end up paying a higher amount, unless in his separation agreement it says that he is to pay for specific other expenses, he should stop these paying for additional items (unless he wants to!)and explain to his ex and child that the additional amount he is paying to ex will need to cover those expenses.


Thanks for replying. I am not sure of the separation agreement between the two because this was probably in 1993. This is just so frustrating because my husband has always been a good father and a good provider. I guess it makes it worse because she didn’t have the decency to come and talk with my husband before deciding to take out papers on him and then the fact that it only took her one week after the son moves back home. I just hope the judge can see all sides and aspects of this case. I am sure we will stop giving all the little extras and explain it to my stepson. Thanks for all your help.


Is her claim for more support actually going to court in front of a judge? The normal route is for her to petition for more support through the child support system. In NC this only costs her $25 I think. Then your husband will have to go to the child support office and they will have obtained his earnings statements from the last 4 quarters or the last year. Based on his earnings and her earnings and also medical insurance that is paid for the child and child care expenses and extraordinary expenses they determine a child support amount. This is all on the calculator on this site.
I believe the only way it would go to court is if your husband refuses to pay or if he wants a different custody situation.


I would agree with most of what the posts have been in response to your question regarding child support. Here is where my advice would differ. The period of time the child was not with mom, but with dad, he could seek an adjustment to any arrears, should that be at issue. It would be good to contact the child support enforcement office, prior to a court date, if possible.

If mom is seeking a modification in support, the CS officer would use the current incomes of the parents to run the guidelines. Two additional considerations: use this opportunity to be certain the child support office is giving credit to your husband for having responsibilities for other children in your home. Sometimes this is completely overlooked, and it should be considered in the calculations. Also, have him ask his employer to document how much it would cost, to include dependents on his insurance, over and above any cost for himself. Be sure he brings this with him, in addition to running the support calculator prior to visiting the enforcement office.

Ultimately, working cooperatively with child support enforcement is crucial. Being proactive and getting credit where credit is due, is also important and it will not likely be offered unless he brings it to their attention. Also, about the extras, not included in support. When dad provides extras, he just has to be sure he does not expect it to be counted as support. Each parent really contributes more than what a CS order may say on its face. The order is merely the minimum financial contribution going to the parent in need of support, to be used for the benefit of the children. To make things more comfortable for the child, the parents may want to consider making more specific agreements as to how extra’s will be handled between them. Hope this helps.

Deborah M. Throm
Rosen Law Firm
1829 E. Franklin Street, Bldg. 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.265.0017 direct
919.321.0780 main voice

4101 Lake Boone Trail
Suite 500
Raleigh, NC 27607
919.256.1544 direct
919.787.6668 main voice

301 McCullough Drive
Suite 510
Charlotte, NC 28262
704.644.2531 ext. 100


My husband is going to court for child support. The child in now 14 years old. He has been paying child support for this child and also “helping out” on other things (school clothes, proms, etc.). He was paying $50.00 per week and had visitation every other weekend. This has been going on for about 12 years. About 8 months ago, the child moved in with us. Mom did not pay anything! Child decides to move back home a 1 1/2 months ago. After child has been home for one week, Mom sues my husband for child support. Now she wants $75.00 a week and health insurance on child. We can not even afford health insurance on the daughter my husband and I have. Do we have any options?