Child Support Questions

One detail I forgot to add is that he is paying about $150 per month right now for the boys’ health insurance.


when you run the calculator the fact that he pays health insurance will be credited towards the amount he owes. For some reason I can’t get the calculator to take your figures.

Yes, if this goes to court then if he pays what the calculator says he owes he would not be obligated to pay you half of the other expenses because that figure would BE his half of those expenses. If you aren’t taking this to court, you two can agree on a figure and other details, you do not have to use the calculator as long as it’s a fair amount it shouldn’t be questioned. If he pays $150 in insurance and pays you $200 per month then that would be $350, since insurance would be added to his portion of child support.
My husband’s ex made this mistake. In their original separation agreement, he was paying her $100 a week. They have joint custody with equal time and were splitting everything 50/50 on top of the $100 a week and him carrying insurance. She got greedy and the court order now has him paying $500 per month in child support, carrying insurance, and paying her back 2 times per year for clothes up to $500 per child. He doesn’t buy school pictures, supplies, or lunch money, he doesn’t pay for afterschool care or anything extra. We don’t follow this to the letter anymore, because it was getting ugly, but the original agreement was actually better especially if you know how quickly children grow out of their clothes.
Child support is supposed to be your portion of what it takes to raise a child in a months time. It is supposed to cover essentially what you would be paying out were you and your spouse still together and raising your child.

Thanks for the responses so far. The 350ish a month was after the 150 for insurance had been considered.

I guess the main thing I was wanting to know was are we allowed to come up with a reasonable amount on our own and keep it out of court. It looks like we can, which is good, as long as he agrees to a decent amount.


My ex and I came to an agreed amount of child support and contacted Dept. of Social Services. DSS drafted the paper work and submitted it to Child Support Enforcement Agency in Raleigh, NC and my ex pays the agreed amount directly to CSEA and in turn they mail the check to me.
Yes, you can come to an agreement together and sign papers. I would however use the court system (DSS is free!) and be sure to legalize this matter because it will come back to haunt you (spoken from experience!) Hope this helps and good luck!!!

Hi melcates80,

Would you recommend using DSS for the parent paying child support and for the parent receiving child support?


The two of you can reach any agreement you both feel comfortable with regarding child support. You will only be forced to use the guidelines if you go to court. You are correct that if he pays you guideline support you would not be splitting the “extras.”

Helena M. Nevicosi
Attorney with Rosen Law Firm

4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500
Raleigh, North Carolina 27607
919.787.6668 main phone
919.256.1665 direct fax

10925 David Taylor Drive, Suite 100
Charlotte, North Carolina 28262
704.644.2831 main voice
704.307.4595 main fax

1829 East Franklin Street, Bldg 600
Chapel Hill, NC 27514
919.321.0780 main phone
919.787.6668 main fax


The response posted above is based upon the limited factual information made available and is not intended as a full and complete response to the question. The only reliable manner to obtain complete and adequate legal advice is to consult with an attorney, fully explain your situation, and allow the attorney sufficient opportunity to research the applicable law and facts required to render an accurate opinion. The basic information provided above is intended as a public service but a full discussion with an attorney should be undertaken before taking any action.

My husband and I are at the point where we are able to file for divorce. We have agreed on all the terms on our own. The only thing he isn’t wanting to agree to is child support. I have the boys 5 nights a week, and he has them 2 nights a week. We take care of their expenses (food, movies, etc.) while they are with us. Other expenses such as clothing, school supplies, pictures, sports registration fees, etc., we split down the middle.) My yearly income is about 40k and his is about 24k. Using the calculator, it has him paying about 350ish a month. His argument is that he can’t afford it. (I’m not supporting that argument – just stating it.) I have heard that if he is paying me child support, then he isn’t obligated to split the things that we’ve been splitting.

Would we be allowed to reduce the amound suggested by the calculator? Say he paid $200 a month and we continue splitting things? What we would both like to do is come to an agreement on the child support amount and not have to go to court about it.

Any advice?

Thanks in advance,